KINGSTON, Mass. — A hardcore matinee show scheduled for this afternoon is reportedly indefinitely delayed until promoters can adequately stock the cash box to make change, frustrated sources confirmed.
“As it stands right now, the cash box has $100 in change — but unfortunately, that change is in the form of five $20 bills. We tried sending someone to the bank, but it wasn’t until they got there that they realized today is Sunday,” said Laura Isdahl, show promoter and drummer of opening band Political Climate Change. “We already posted on Facebook that anyone who brings exact change will be let in first, but until then, everyone needs to wait outside… and it looks like it’s about to rain.”
The few show patrons standing in line were visibly frustrated by the wait.
“I drove over here with the dudes from That Face When, but didn’t get on their fucking guestlist because they all have girlfriends now that are probably sitting in there having the time of their lives,” said local hardcore kid Devin Barrett. “So I helped them load gear into my truck, and carried half of it onto the stage for them… but I still ended up out here because the only ATM that gives out small bills is on the other side of town at that shady McDonald’s where you can definitely cop dope.”
Despite the delay, Isdahl remained confident the show would begin soon.
“A lot of people suggested I download Venmo or something so they could just transfer me the money. That seemed like a solid option, until we realized I need a WiFi connection to access the app store,” said Isdahl. “That one kid who always shows up three dollars short on a $5 show should be here any minute, though, so things could turn around. I’m not sure how that’s gonna help our situation at all, but anything’s better than this.”
At press time, the assistant manager at a local Walgreen’s reported a sudden influx of customers looking to “just buy the cheapest thing they have.”
Photo by Kat Chish.