Another week into the new year, and it’s still the same old you when you look in the mirror. What happened? You used to, like, dream and have hopes and stuff. Look at what a sell-out you’ve become. Don’t give us that look. We’re just telling you what all of your closest friends and loved ones have been saying for years. Possibly decades for all we know. Don’t shoot the messenger is all we’re saying.
You might be thinking that it’s too late to change. That’s just the kind of conclusion to which someone as hopeless as you would jump. Believe it or not, though, you’re wrong. Kind of. We can’t fix everything. What we can do, however, is get a jump start on fixing your archaic and increasingly lame taste in music by providing you with a handful of brand new songs. With any luck, you’ll feel as if you’ve been ushered into a brand new age instead of stalling in an era of past and repeated mistakes.
Without further ado, here are six new songs that our expert ears have been tuned into. They won’t call a barber for you or fix your resume, but maybe they’ll take your mind off of things for up to twenty minutes.
Pissed Jeans “Moving On”
When we heard that Philadelphia’s Pissed Jeans had announced their first new album in nearly 7 years, we got so excited that we all collectively pissed ourselves. After a quick change and a thorough cleaning of the office, we finally got some time to peruse their latest single. ‘Moving On’ from the forthcoming LP ‘Half Divorced’ veers a bit further into the pop-punk realm than the deranged quartet has dared to go into the past. Still, with its notable brightness, the track still carries the same signature gut-punch hooks and anxiety producing backbeat fans like us have come to expect. We can’t wait to hear the rest of the record when our hearing comes back in March.
Faye Webster “Lego Ring ft. Lil Yachty”
Atlanta singer-songwriter and noted wunderkind, Faye Webster, has finally announced her highly anticipated fifth studio album ‘Underdressed At The Symphony.’ Following two heavily emotional singles, ‘But Not Kiss’ and ‘Lifetime,’ Webster has coupled the record reveal with the excellently woozy ‘Lego Ring.’ The lyrics revolve around a simple desire to obtain and wear a ring featuring, you guessed it, a Lego piece made entirely from crystal. Featuring recent psych rock legend and long-time friend of Webster’s, Lil’ Yachty, the track is an exciting genre-bending trip that demands repeat listens while Googling the aforementioned and ostentatious ring.
Superchunk “Everybody Dies”
There are few certainties in life: Death, taxes, and new music from power pop legends Superchunk. While the former two are less than pleasing, we can at least be thankful for the latter. Three decades into their storied career, Superchunk are still cranking out the jams with the ferocity of some wide eyed twenty-somethings who have yet to be beaten down by the world. On their latest single, ‘Everybody Dies,’ Mac McCaughan and company take the inarguable reality of mortality and heighten it to one of their most endearing scream-along choruses in years. We’re not sure it’s meant to be as uplifting as it sounds, but we’re certain the band knows no other way to deliver such a somber message.
Cosmic Joke “Cosmic Joke”
If you’re anything like us, you miss the days when hardcore was faster, catchier, and easier to skate to. Fortunately, we’re no longer alone in this miserable and unforgiving world. LA’s latest hardcore outfit Cosmic Joke is on a mission to bring the genre back to its sunny SoCal 80’s roots, and they are doing so with aplomb. Their freshly released self-titled debut album rips through nine tracks in just under fifteen minutes and there isn’t a single miss in the run-time. If you long for a time when bands like the Adolescents and Bad Religion were still relevant and felt safe to rep without feeling like a middle-aged weirdo, Cosmic Joke is for you.
Dancer “Passionate Sunday”
Glasgow’s indie-pop outfit Dancer have announced their much-awaited debut LP ‘10 Songs I Hate About You’ along with its lead single ‘Passionate Sunday.’ It’s a sparsely painted anthem complete with the band’s penchant for avante-garde trimmings and love-sick lyricism. As lead singer Gemma Fleet soars with her signature wail, the melodic bass stylings of Andrew Doig coupled with the dedicated backbeat of Gavin Murdoch lay down the perfect foundation for guitarist Chris Taylor to go absolutely apeshit over the track, painting it with enough flair to make you consider spending your entire paycheck on a used DigiTech Whammy again.
Bloody Head “Neti Neti”
Nottingham’s noise-rock quartet, Bloody Head, have been crafting chaotic, ear-splitting, and borderline dangerous material for nearly a decade now. Their seventh album, ‘Perpetual Eden,’ was just released last week and it is nothing short of massive. Packed to the brim with acerbic guitars, saturated vocals, and a rhythm section that sounds like it’s ready to throw the entire train off the rails at a moments notice, the record is a disorienting and must-listen affair. Album highlight ‘Neti Neti’ plays out like a thrash metal song on ketamine, while the refrain of ‘whatever you think this is, no it’s not that’ describes the entire effort to a T.
We know you have a lot going on, or at least that’s what you tell people. To help ease your burden even further, we’ve taken the time to compile these and other songs in an ongoing playlist. It’s updated weekly so all you have to do is blindly follow it and let it warp you accordingly. You can click here to do just that! Thank us when you finally have some relevant bands to talk about.