8. Nirvana (Season 17, January 11, 1992)
After this performance Dad just couldn’t wrap his head around what this guy had to be fucking miserable about all the time. He was the biggest rock star in the world and he was rich! What the hell did he have to whine about on the MTV all the time? He said he wasn’t homophobic or anything but did Grohl and Novaselic really need to make out at the end?
7. Elvis Costello and the Attractions (Season 3, December 17, 1977)
Initially he was confused about what that fucking nerd was doing with a goddamn guitar and that guys in bands used to beat up guys like that. Then he said that little dweeb had the audacity to stop his song and then start playing a different one he was told not to play and it’s no wonder we had to save those Limey cocksuckers asses in World War 2.
6. Hole (Season 20, December 17, 1994)
Dad’s reaction to this performance was along the lines of “Jesus Christ, that crazy broad was always a goddamn trainwreck.” He said that maybe she could be attractive if she fixed her makeup and didn’t dress like a goddamn stripper or something. After he said that, Mom leaving him started to make more sense.
5. Green Day (Season 20, December 3, 1994)
My dad claims he used to be a tough guy back in his dad and that if anybody needed a good fucking ass-kicking, it was these snot-nosed little brats. He said guys like that probably don’t do anything but sit on their asses and smoke dope all day. He said he’d bet dollars to donuts they’re probably bagging groceries or pumping gas these days. (Go grab a copy of “Dookie” in our store.)
4. Rancid (Season 21, November 18, 1995)
As soon as this started I was getting asked what the hell those damn kids that are always pestering him for money at the train station were doing on the SNL and what the hell that goddamn noise was. He said that wasn’t rock and put Ted Nugent on as an example. (If you like Rancid then you need to visit the Hard Shoppes to and pick up some vinyl.)
3. Phoebe Bridgers (Season 46, February 6, 2021)
Dad got all pissy about her smashing the guitar at the end of her second performance because he said it just seemed like such a waste and that that was high-quality American craftsmanship and somehow this was all Biden’s fault.
2. The Replacements (Season 11, January 18, 1986)
After his sixth beer dad starts getting political and started saying that it was really telling that America was in a moral decline when they let those guys go on TV, drunk off their asses, the one in a dress, and then used that kind of language when children could be watching. He told us not to be a smart ass when we mentioned he swore around us all the time. I mentioned Reagan was president then and he told me not to be a smartass.
1. Fear (Season 7, October 31, 1981)
I had to show Dad this footage on Youtube and he thought a bunch of goddamn hooligans had broken into the studio and crashed the stage and that if the cops were allowed to do their jobs in this city, shit like this wouldn’t happen. When he found out it was planned he kept going on about how much it was going to cost to fix all that and who the hell even lets crap like that on the TV anyway.
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