The more rock interviews you read, the more you start to notice the almighty Cramps popping up, Forrest Gump-like, in an insane number of notable figures’ musical trajectories. Like that first Velvet Underground album before them, attending a Cramps live show ignited interest in pursuing the punk lifestyle in such folks like Ian MacKaye, John Dwyer, and even Big Star’s Alex Chilton. Chances are, if you’re reading this, Lux and Ivy’s psoothing, pscintillating psychobilly has comfortably dug its claws deep into you too, so today we’re ranking all their studio albums (so cue everyone’s “No Bad Music For Bad People??” “This is Gravest Hits erasure and I won’t stand for it” comments in 3…2…) Enjoy!
8. Look Mom No Head! (1991)
Honestly, it’s tough picking the worst Cramps album. They’re so consistently the SAME that it’s a real chore to consider what’s the bottom of the barrel (or in their case, dynamite powderkeg) “Look Mom No Head” fills the role though, in just being the most “more of the same” offering they ever served up. But, there are positives: An Iggy Pop appearance on “Miniskirt Blues” is fun, where he trades snotty vocals with Interior like two kids on the playground. Poison Ivy really cooks on tracks like “Eyeballs in my Martini.” Lux livens up his standard yowy-growly vocals by sometimes sounding like a wayward Cookie Monster who requires his cookies with a side of hooch. But, overall this one’s as “computer, load up a Cramps album” as they come.
Play It Again: “Dames, Booze, Chains and Boots”
Skip It: “Hardworking Man” is unfortunately a far cry from the original off the “Blue Collar” soundtrack.
7. Fiends of Dope Island (2003)
Hey, a middling Cramps album is still a Cramps album, damn it! “Fiends of Dope Island” is what ended up being the final Cramps record before the passing of Lux Interior, and it’s a credit to the group that they can still sound the same as ever after all those years. Convincingly aping juvenile delinquents while theoretically being able to use a senior citizen discount has gotta be difficult, but Lux and Ivy make it look easy. If you can ignore the lame ChatGPT-vibes cover art, this is a more-than-respectable final transmission from one of rock’s most enduring oddballs…but c’mon, we’re not going to put it above second-to-last place!
Play It Again: “Wrong Way Ticket”
Skip It: “Doctor Fucker, M.D”
6. A Date With Elvis (1986)
Recorded after a far-too-long label dispute, “A Date with Elvis” shows the Cramps’ interests turning from the trash-horror subject matter of their infancy, to the trash-sexploitation stuff that would guide them through the rest of their careers, as if they started hanging out with a different crowd in the summer break between elementary and middle school. Highlights this go-round are that we finally get to hear Poison Ivy sing a little bit (delightfully off-key) on “Kizmiaz” and “Get Off the Road,” and it’s interesting to see a real concerted emphasis on jacked-up country/western with songs like “Cornfed Dames.” But, unlike a real date with Elvis Presley, this unfortunately won’t leave you feeling quite as satisfied as a belly full of Monte Cristos.
Play It Again: “The Hot Pearl Snatch”
Skip It: “It’s Just That Song” should be titled “It’s Just That Slog”
5. Big Beat From Badsville (1997)
Another batch of tunes that would make John Waters weep with trashy joy, “Big Beat From Badsville” proves yet again that the Cramps didn’t mess with their successful formula. With a tracklist that includes more animal songs than a Raffi concert (come to think of it, what a shame we never got a Cramps rendition of “Baby Beluga”) Badsville historically remains the only Cramps LP to consist of entirely original material. And for a band that clings to their covers more than a kid who thinks there’s a monster under the bed, we take our hats off to them!
Play It Again: “It Thing Hard On” absolutely RIPS
Skip It: “Monkey With Your Tail”
4. Stay Sick! (1990)
An apt title to say the least, this one’s sick indeed! The last album with their incredibly stoic drummer Nick Knox, the Cramps burst down the door of the ‘90s full force with “Stay Sick!” The band is in absurdly fine form, with “God Damn Rock ‘n Roll” sounding like they’re snidely turning that one Bob Seger track upside down and dangling it over a highway overpass. Ivy’s production is appropriately ‘50s drenched, and she makes Interior sound exactly like he’s using exclusively those rectangular “crooner” style microphones the entire time. Good luck swallowing one of those, Lux!
Play It Again: “Bikini Girls with Machine Guns”
Skip It: “Everything Goes”
3. Psychedelic Jungle (1981)
Coming to the Cramps for nuance is like going to a pet store for airline tickets, and while their second album is light on variety (let’s face it, most Cramps albums are and we love them for it), it more than makes up in pure slimy style. Every track oozes effortlessly into the next one, proving you don’t need to play at a breakneck pace to break necks (you can break them from nodding “hell yeah” too much in this case.) Plus, it even doles out sage advice in the process…I mean, you really shouldn’t eat stuff off the sidewalk…Thanks, Lux ‘n Ivy!
Play It Again: “Goo Goo Muck”
Skip It: “Jungle Hop” (Look up the Don & Dewey original instead)
2. Flamejob (1994)
It’s certainly apt that Flamejob is packed with its fair share of automotive songs, because it absolutely makes you want to crank up while hauling ass down the open highway. Incorporating some hauntingly faithful covers like “Strange Love,” and their take on “Route 66” that sounds uncannily like something you’d hear while being shuffled out of a dive bar at last call, with pint glasses sneakily tucked into your pockets. There’s just something about “Flamejob” that edges it over ‘Psychedelic Jungle,” and if you don’t agree, who cares – we’re already 30 miles down the road in a cloud of dust.
Play It Again: “Sado County Auto Show”
Skip It: “Ultra Twist” but only because you should watch the clip of them performing it on Conan O’Brien instead.
1. Songs the Lord Taught Us (1980)
The Cramps burst (or, rather, slithered) onto the scene with this incredible collection of electrified sleaze that cemented them as punk mainstays. Inventing psychobilly seemingly without batting an eye, they throw the ultimate party with a guest list teeming with werewolves, zombies, sanitation trucks…the gang’s all here! Somehow they managed to dumb down a Sonics song even further, which is a salutable feat in anyone’s book. “Songs the Lord Taught Us” may have been named ironically, but if you ask us, there’s no question that this record is sent from heaven.
Play It Again: If you don’t get “Garbage Man” stuck in your head every time you drag those cans to the curb, I don’t know what to tell you.
Skip It: Look, we’re running out of cute ways to say “Don’t skip any tracks on this one” for these things, so let’s just play the whole album and enjoy ourselves, shall we?
We have more reporting on The Cramps that you should read:
- My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About The Cramps but Can’t Even Name One of Their Albums
- Lux Interior Releases Posthumous Cookbook With Over 100 Delicious Microphone Recipes