15. Keiko O’Brien
A lovely person by all accounts, but we have a hard time believing Miles would approve, and you definitely don’t want to piss off the guy who runs the transporter room, that thing is dangerous enough as it is. It’s sort of like the space equivalent of car accidents, everyone just accepts that it kills people every day and shrugs it off.
14. Alyssa Ogawa
Alyssa’s ability to be there in the background doing this and that fairly regularly is unparalleled.
13. Lursa and B’Etor
Yup, the Duras sisters are a package deal, and if you can get past the forehead ridges and teeth you’ll be thankful for it! We can’t, but hey, the universe is too big for kink-shaming!
12. Alynna Nechayev
Yes Mommy.
11. Hugh of Borg
As the first Borg drone to separate from the collective, Hugh is not in the right place for a serious relationship right now, but he is eager to explore. If you and your partner are aroused by the cybergoth aesthetic, he’s pretty much the ultimate catch. Plus, just look at all those components and attachments and whatnot! No idea what they do but some of them must vibrate or something!
10. Lwaxana Troi
Counselor Troi’s mom is bawdy, dtf and she can literally read your mind. She’s been around the block, which in this case is the galaxy, so you know she can show you guys a thing or two.
9. Mr. Homn
He’s with Lwanana, they’re a package deal, but we’re sure you won’t be disappointed with Mr. Hung…er… Homn.
8. Beverly Crusher
Beverly was TNG’s best attempt at a strong female character, but despite her rank and Gates McFadden’s acclaimed performance, she was still too often relegated to a supporting role in most episodes and never really allowed to reach her potential. So, someone overqualified but not used to getting the attention they deserve… that’s perfect for a threesome!
7. Kurn
Worf’s long-lost half-brother is all Klingon, so he doesn’t have the same hangups as the Enterprise’s dutiful chief of security. This guy is DOWN TO CLOWN.
6. Q
The best part about a threeway with Q is that he is an omnipotent all-knowing being. The worst part about a three-way with Q is he is an omnipotent all-knowing being. Not exactly one for hearing people out or respecting boundaries. He could transform the both of you into one giant clitoris the size of a mountain that does nothing but cum with the snap of his fingers, but like, hey man, consent is sexy, okay?!
5. Guinan
Ten Forward’s best bartender is wise, great at listening, and has centuries of experience under her belt, so you can bet this wouldn’t be her first time getting experimental. She’s also the only character on the show who can stand her ground against Q, and she’s low-key Captain Picard’s most trusted advisor. It’s as if she were played by an actress way above doing television at the time, and they gave her whatever cool attributes she wanted.
4. Data
As the show goes out of its way to make abundantly clear several times, Data has full sexual functionality and is programmed with “a wide variety of techniques.” He doesn’t really have emotions so you don’t have to worry about him getting too clingy, and he fucked the Borg queen so technically he’s already down with the group thing.
3. Tasha Yar
Tasha fucked Data in season one when the Enterprise was attacked by an alien sex virus, and she fucked him so good that he kept a holographic portrait of her for the rest of his life. This was before he had emotions mind you. Tasha clearly knows what she’s doing.
2. Deanna Troi
In the ’90s Star Trek still didn’t really know what to do with female characters, but Deanna Troi’s empath abilities brought her to the very brink of usefulness. “Oh, really Deanna, you ‘sense’ that the space lizard with an eyepatch and two friggin knives holstered on his chest might be lying? Good thing you’re on our side!” Gene Roddenberry’s hollow, performative progressiveness aside, a threeway with Counselor Troy would be mind-blowing. She’s supportive, patient, and emotionally attentive, and she would unpack the experience for you both nicely when it was over.
1. Jean-Luc Picard
Who better to boldly take your relationship to places it’s never been before? A proven leader and accomplished diplomat with the voice of a king, this legendary French explorer is more than qualified to show you and your partner a new frontier of pleasure. Jean-Luc can be cold and demanding, or he can be compassionate and understanding. In other words, Daddy can switch. Either way, after hours of lovemaking, you and your partner will be treated to some lovely flute music.
Continue Reading:
1 2