16. Baby’s Day Out (1994)
Three inept kidnappers bit off more than they can chew when the baby they stole gets into all kinds of hijinks! It’s fun the whole family can enjoy, except for whichever family member just had a baby, who will shriek bloody murder at all the baby endangerment and spend the whole movie reminding you that they would die for their kid. Stop saying that! It’s weird and nobody asked!
15. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Yes, it’s technically a family comedy, and yes, technically it’s a classic, but if your family is anything like mine there’s at least one person who flies into a rage the second Chevy Chase’s smug face is on the screen. In my family, we call them “me,” and if you disagree I will straight up fight you.
14. Mr. Mom (1983)
It’s a shining example of male weaponized incompetence, and it’s bound to hit a few nerves in your family, but it’s hard to get too upset when Michael Keaton’s on the screen.
13. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
AKA White Privilege: The Motion Picture. This movie asks the question “What if the entire city of Chicago loved Ferris Bueller, an objectively unlikable person, for some goddamn reason?” Your parents won’t see it that way though. They’ll be all like “What are you talking about? Everyone loves Ferris Bueller! The movie says so!” and it will spiral into one of those “God, you can’t say ANYTHING these days” type arguments before the credits roll.
12. Curly Sue (1991)
Watch this adorably precocious homeless child saddled with homeless Jim Belushi, take a good long look at your own parents, and concede to yourself that it could be worse.
11. Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)
It’s right up there with “Pretty In Pink” but way less seen, so you might save yourself from that one family member who always says “I love this part!” and tells you the thing that’s about to happen.
10. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
Keeping your family together with one of the few things that can still do the job—belief in a lie as insane as Santa Claus. Hey, he’s no more a construct than the expectations put upon a nuclear family unit.
9. National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)
We’re told that if at least one of these isn’t in the top 10 people will “riot,” so here you go fuckers. You know Chevy Chase is on the Social Register, right? Like he’s that level old-world asshole? Whatever, happy Thanksgiving dipshits.
8. Uncle Buck (1989)
It’s like “Mr. Mom,” the whole fish out of water “Man do mom stuff?!” thing, but there is way darker stuff under the surface here. Uncle Buck is a drunk compulsive gambler with mob ties, this supposed to be charming? The biggest dirtbag in your family is going to feel super vindicated watching “Uncle Buck.”
7. Weird Science (1985)
Honestly, this makes a terrible family movie and it’s problematic as hell, I just really wanna watch it again.
6. Home Alone (1990)
No matter what drama is going on in your family you can always laugh at a guy getting hit in the nuts together.
5. The Great Outdoors (1988)
Maybe watching a family slightly less functional than your own for a while can bring you guys together? If John Candy and Dan Aykroyd can find common ground, there’s hope for all of us.
4. Pretty in Pink (1986)
The very idea of a “monoculture” is fading fast, but the ‘80s John Hughes stone cold classics are enduring. Your parents saw them in the theater. You saw them on cable countless times. Your younger relatives haven’t seen them, but they’ve seen people talking about them on YouTube. You don’t really get that, but whatever, throw one on and enjoy one of the last remaining scraps of common ground you all have.
3. Drillbit Taylor (2008)
This is how the John Hughes oeuvre ends, not with a bang but with a “Drillbit Taylor.” This movie would be a go-to example of mediocrity if people remembered it existed. Why does it rank so highly? Because it’s so middle of the road it can’t possibly trigger an argument. Most of your family won’t even be awake by the end.
2. The Breakfast Club (1985)
You might not think a movie about teen angst will help quell your family’s growing generational divide, but remember, everyone was a teenage archetype at some point. Throw it on, spark a joint, and the whole family will be doing choreographed dances in no time.
1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
This might seem counterintuitive. On the surface, it’s a movie about not getting along with someone. Arguing takes up a good 80-90 percent of the dialogue. John Candy is the oil to Steve Martin’s vinegar. Candy annoys Martin on a near-cellular level, and as they are continually forced together by circumstances beyond either’s control, they explode at one another. But the more time they spend together, the more Martin sees Candy as a human being full of pain. He wrote him off as an annoyance from the get-go, but in the end, he just can’t let the guy spend Thanksgiving alone. What better way to remind your family why you’re all there in the first place?
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