30. The Broad Haven Primary School Incident
In 1977, 14 schoolchildren at Broad Haven Primary School saw a silver, cigar-shaped craft land near their school and witnessed a metallic being emerge from the craft. They were all asked to draw pictures of their encounter, and the pictures are all similar. I have printouts of these drawings all over my garage, and none of my children’s artwork, which apparently was a big deal with Linda.
29. Majestic 12
Supposedly Majestic 12 is the name of the task force Harry Truman put in charge of alien crash recovery in 1947. Though most serious ufologists today dismiss the group as a hoax, I’m old school. I even named my prog band Majestic 12, giving my wife one more reason to hate it.
28. The Citizens Hearing on Disclosure, Vegas, 2015
When I told Linda we were going to Las Vegas for a big weekend she was unexpectedly enthusiastic. I had no idea she was even familiar with Paradigm Research Group director Stephen Bassett, who had organized a panel of 6 former congresspeople to hear out the world’s top alien witnesses. Well apparently Vegas is known for other things, and when we arrived at the convention center she was pretty crestfallen once she spotted the first tin foil hat. I get it. Tin foil hats do nothing to repel extraterrestrial telepathy, Linda was right about that one.
27. Project Blue Book
AKA “Nothing to see here, folks!” Can you believe that in the 17 years of its existence, the government would have us believe that Project Blue Book found no instance of a UFO that possessed a threat to national security or indicated a technology that could not be explained by modern science? I asked that very question of my wife on several occasions, and she would always reply something like “Yes” or “I have needs you know.”
26. The 1952 Pentagon Sighting
Oh, UFO sightings lack credible witnesses Linda? How about the friggin president of the United States, is that credible enough for you? Oh, that doesn’t change the fact that I need to be more of an active presence in our children’s lives? Well, I guess the truth means nothing to you!
25. The Exeter UFO Sighting
On September 3rd, 1965, multiple witnesses with no known contact, among them a police officer, reported seeing a large red flying object with pulsating lights in Exeter, New Hampshire. The object caused dogs in the area to bark and horses to wildly kick at their stables. Fifty-seven years later, the object would cause my wife Linda to call me a “crackpot man-boy who needs to get his act together.”
24. Stephenville, Texas Sighting
Back in 2008, several witnesses in Stephenville, Texas claimed to see a fast-moving in the sky that was bigger than a Walmart, a standard unit of measurement in Texas. I had one hell of a time rubbing this story in Linda’s face after it was covered by her oh-so-precious NPR, but that probably wasn’t very tactful of me since it was the day after her mother died.
23. Shag Harbor Sighting
In 1967 a strange glowing object was witnessed by several Canadians. The object descended into Shag Harbor and was never seen again. Sometimes UFOs and love are like that.
22. The Fox “Alien Autopsy” special
This woman would honestly have me believe that Jonathan Frakes lied to me. Gaslight much?
21. Anchorage, Alaska Incident
In 1986 a Japanese cargo plane experienced an extraterrestrial encounter that lasted over 50 minutes. The unidentified crafts in question were so close to the plane, the pilot could reportedly feel the heat from them on his face. That’s why every vacation I would book a flight route that took us through Alaskan airspace, much to my wife’s chagrin.