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It’s Time We Have a Conversation About What My Anaconda Does Want

As a herpetologist specializing in the care and handling of large snakes, I can tell you that there are many misnomers regarding the desires of these majestic reptiles. Primarily, the far reaching myth that anacondas have no interest in any food source that does not contain a large quantity of buns, hon.

Let’s talk FACTS.

Anacondas raised in captivity are — more than any other species of reptile — placed at serious risk because of a fiction popularized in rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot’s otherwise fact-based hit single ‘Baby Got Back.’ For more than twenty-five years, Sir Mix-A-Lot’s syncopated spiel about the prerogative of anacondas has provided the basis for a highly-restrictive diet that rejects anything not rich in healthy butt.

I know what you’re thinking- these vertebrates are long, and they’re strong, and I will stop you right there — any complex organism deprived a balanced diet of staple nutrients will not get much friction on, if at all.

The zeitgeist is obsessed over that of which anacondas do not want none, when we should be having a conversation about what these majestic specimens desire in the affirmative. For example, the freedom to swim great distances or even asexually reproduce — not simply the freedom from habitats pre-judged for their lack of rump-o-smooth-skin.

Anacondas deserve from us the same mindfulness and respect as any animal entrusted to our care. My only hope is that the lessons conveyed herein have the same impact as when the Baha Men enlightened us all to the perils of canine enclosure negligence.

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