You could be forgiven for thinking that the human race had reached the pinnacle of its brilliance when, as a species, we learned to transcend the need to actually meet in the flesh in order to communicate effectively and form a bond. Being able to communicate via the wonder of the world wide web represented an incredible leap forward for humanity as you no longer needed to gain validation from your real life friends when you gave your pet cat a birthday cake; you could wait for the virtual “likes” and “shares” to trickle through instead!
— For The Love of Pets (@petlistorg) May 28, 2018
In perhaps the least shocking piece of news you’re likely to read this week, it has now emerged that by clicking “like”, a lot of the time people are actually just humoring each other. Indeed, the use of exaggerated profile photos and bio info, along with emoji proliferation and that tendency to overshare, might not actually… wait for it… lead to deep friendships.
Ways to combat this shocking revelation
There’s no need to believe the research though! After all, while all the evidence suggests that we can only support 150 friends rather than the thousands you have on Facebook, there is no reason why we need to give in to actual scientific facts. Indeed, arguably those who limit themselves to just 150 friends are the kind of people who simply haven’t realized that to become as popular as possible, you need to spend more than the 24 hours each day you currently are craving likes, smiley face emojis, and smug comments. After all, what could be better for your social life than liking posts from people you’ve never met, will never meet, and actually don’t have any level of emotional connection with.
If you really want to blow the lid off your likes on social media, then you need to forget about these revelations and go ahead and create something that truly will make waves. In the past, this might have come in the form of starting your own lifestyle blog, but these days there are more dramatic ways to see your likes go from the tens, to the hundreds, to the thousands, to the level of superstars like T-Swizzle, Queen B and even Gan-Gan.
Those life-defining likes
Of course, having a plan to generate those likes to prove that likes aren’t worthless is vital, so it’s worth spending your waking hours working on several different ideas. One of these could be taking that all-important selfie on Easter Island with the Moai, while another could come in the form of winning the Powerball jackpot. After all, who wouldn’t want to like a post of you sitting back in your limo, sipping on champagne cocktails and throwing dollar bills into the air with reckless abandon? You could even reward whoever shows the most enthusiasm with their choice of emoji with a ride in the back with you!
— Mike Vidler (@MVidler) February 5, 2017
After all, as Lottoland show, the invention of social media is one of the key moments of human development, and therefore while it may be one idea to try to make actual friends in real life, we all know that it is those superficial friends on social media who really matter the most!