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Guy in Suit Wants to Borrow Board for a Sec

A group of local skaters was shocked last Tuesday when marketing junior associate Devon Laramie asked to borrow a skateboard while wearing a suit and leather shoes; an outfit understood by onlookers to be wholly inappropriate for skateboarding.

“I saw these kids skating the staircase outside our building while I was taking a smoke break,” said a sweaty Laramie, having just attempted several shove-its with varying degrees of success. “I used to skate back in the day, so I thought I’d throw them for a loop and show off a few old school tricks. Heh, I bet they weren’t expecting a guy like me to know how to skate.”

According to witnesses, Laramie approached the young skateboarders and immediately launched into skater parlance, asking them if he could borrow a board to “jam a quick sesh.”

“Usually I’m pretty wary about lending my board to strangers,” said appropriately attired skater Jamelle Warner, “but when he showed he could speak the language, I knew my board was safe in his capable hands, and frankly, I wanted to see what the old dog could do.”

Stunned onlookers watched as Laramie attempted to tic tac on the borrowed deck, and then informed those present he had not tried to skate “since college.” Despite a two year absence from skating, Laramie almost landed “a primo slide” on the smooth marble sidewalk, nearly ripping his suit pants in the process. His devil-may-care attitude was on full display as he scuffed the side of his $300 shoes when he took several attempts to ollie a sewer cap.

“See, I used to be able to do 360 big spins, kick tricks, all of that,” insisted Laramie to the impressed skaters, between deep, gasping breaths “but I messed up my ankle pretty bad trying a really big handrail and haven’t skated since then.”

Laramie eventually returned the skateboard and resumed his work day. The skaters, in awe of Laramie and his obvious skating credentials, moved on to the next spot.

“Look, we know when to respect someone’s turf,” said skater Nelson Menendez, whose board had several new pressure cracks from Laramie’s failed handstand. “This is his spot. When someone shuts it down that hard, I gotsta give props, dig?”