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Toddler Sick Of Accidentally Stepping On Dad’s Scattered Effects Pedals

LOS FELIZ, Calif. — 20-month-old toddler and aspiring walker Addilynn Frosté is growing increasingly annoyed by her father’s inability to maintain a tidy guitar effects pedal area, amused family sources confirmed.

“Da Da clean pedals,” said a visibly frustrated Addilynn, after tripping over a Rockett Effects Archer Overdrive pedal. “Not here. Put away! Foot hurt, not need. Cat cat cat cat.”

Addilynn’s father, Noah Frosté, defended his right to leave his effects pedals strewn about the house.

“Look — you never know when I’m going to want to plug in and just start jamming. Right over here, I have the Archer, which is great. It’s an incredibly accurate clone of the original Klon Centaur from the ’90s… which I also have laying around here somewhere. Actually, I think it’s right at the foot of Addilynn’s crib,” said Frosté, slowly strolling his modest home. “But if I’m being honest, the Klon is perhaps a bit too transparent. I just can’t seem to sound good through it — it really doesn’t hide the mistakes in your playing. But I can’t sell it, either; it’s the gold standard for overdrive. And it’s the gold horsie model! Maybe when I finally get a band together, I’ll use it on a few tracks. Yep, that pedal is classic.”

Frustration with Frosté has spread throughout his neighborhood, as outside residents had their own complaints about the household’s effects pedal disarray.

“They got a ball pit for a pizza party, and my son Tyler hit his head on a Boss Metal Zone on his first dive in,” recounted local parent Delilah Murphy. “And nobody could even use the bounce house, because Noah put a bunch of Marshall stacks in there for some goddamn reason. They could’ve crushed someone.”

However, despite the swirling criticisms, Mr. Frosté remains immune.

“Did you know that Simon Neil of U.K. rockers Biffy Clyro actually uses a Metal Zone on stage and in the studio?” Frosté asked reporters. “It just goes to show that, despite conventional wisdom, there can be an artistic way to use any pedal. But, lately, I’ve been working with Boomerang Phrase Sampler, which is currently in my daughter’s playpen. Maybe I’ll do some type of one-man-band looping thing.”

To combat her father’s reckless pedal placement, Addilynn will reportedly institute a “no enjoyment” policy when her father attempts to play guitar for her, and during games of peekaboo.