GLENS FALLS, N.Y. — A salesman for music gear retailer Sweetwater appeared at the funeral for Richie Andrews, a customer who purchased an overdrive pedal from him 17 years ago, according to cemetery staff.
“Anyone who has ordered even the smallest item from Sweetwater knows that our dedication to customer service is unrivaled,” said Sweetwater’s Gary Jacoby while helping another customer move. “Richie and I first got acquainted when he ordered an Ibanez Tube Screamer from me years back. Since then, I kept close tabs on him, just like I do with all of my customers. I was actually at Richie’s wedding—posing as a caterer. I always try to be nearby in case my customers need any patch cables or strings or anything. People accuse Sweetwater of stalkerish behavior, but that’s not stalking, it’s just good customer service.”
Andrews’ widow Meghan says she had no idea what Sweetwater is or why Jacoby was at her husband’s funeral.
“It soon became clear he didn’t know anyone,” said Ms. Andrews of the salesman. “But the fact that he was a stranger there didn’t seem to bother him. He made the rounds, offering condolences and handing out candy. He struck up a conversation about music with my cousin and wound up selling him a bass. Then a few days later, Gary showed up at my house with a casserole and we had a very nice conversation. What a good listener he is! Later, we ended up watching some movies together on the couch. It turns out he loves romantic comedies—I could never get Richie to watch romcoms with me.”
Marketing consultant Ed Ormond says good client relations are key to making an impression in today’s business landscape.
“Being aggressively kind and creepily attentive is what makes Sweetwater stand out in terms of customer service,” explained Ormond. “Conversely, Comcast has made being abusive and cruel their signature strategy. They’re able to get away with masochistic treatment since they’re a monopoly in most markets they operate in. They eventually provoke a Stockholm Syndrome-like relationship with their customers who in time grow to love their oppressor. And then there’s Home Depot, which trains their employees to act like they can neither see nor hear their shoppers. It works for them apparently.”
At press time, Jacoby reportedly moved in with the widow Andrews, and her child had already begun calling him dad.