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Striking GM Workers Give Subpar Folk Singer a Firm “Thanks, but No Thanks”

DETROIT — Striking GM auto workers politely rejected yesterday folk singer Joe Nash’s offer to play inspiring, Americana labor ballads as a sign of solidarity.

Onlookers report Nash made it through the first verse of Billy Bragg’s “There Is Power in the Union” before being forced to stop.

“We were doing some of our usual strike chants when suddenly, there was this piercing harmonica,” said UAW striker Hal Pearson. “This hipster dork came out of nowhere, sat on a bucket and struggled to play some chords while misquoting lyrics. While we’re thankful for his support, he’s doing more harm than good.”

Nash, who was asked to leave a local nurses’ strike in February and a climate change protest last month, reportedly tried to do a rendition of “Solidarity Forever” before his guitar was wrestled away from him.

“I’ve always felt connected to the blue-collar workers of America,” said Nash, who allegedly still believes the best way he can help a cause is “the gift of song.” “My dad is an executive at an oil refinery — these salt-of-the-earth people are my people, you know? The first time I heard Bob Dylan, I knew he’d spent his life working with his hands. ”

Security footage showed the crowd watching the strike dwindled to just a few people within seconds of Nash beginning his routine — which did not go unnoticed by GM management.

“We’ve tried our best to hold good faith negotiations, but these workers are playing dirty bringing in this nauseating noise maker to disrupt our workday,” GM CEO Mary T. Barra said. “As soon as he started playing outside the building, I got a splitting headache and diarrhea.”

After being shooed away from the picket line, Nash went to play for a local LGBTQ Pride event last night, where he was later arrested and charged with a hate crime due to the amount of complaints from attendees.