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Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame Apologizes, Quietly Shuts Down New Interactive Exhibit on 27 Club

CLEVELAND — Bastion of musical irrelevance the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame (HoF) recently shut down its immersive exhibit on the 27 Club, after countless complaints and, ironically, death threats, sources who deeply regret their insensitivity confirmed.

“We, the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, would like to sincerely apologize for our insensitive and traumatic exhibit. Seriously, we fucked up bad this time, you guys,” remorsed spokesman Grant Halsworthy while removing several very graphic forensic photos of Amy Winehouse from the exhibit space. “When we first designed this exhibit we thought it would help people more closely understand the pressure that many professional musicians face daily. But now, we realize that leaving a bunch of loaded guns alongside heaps of carnival-grade amphetamines out for the general public was the wrong way to do this.”

Exhibit attendees expressed relief regarding its removal, which has caused most of the nation’s therapists to be booked solid through June 2027.

“I cannot ever imagine Jim Morrison’s dead, bloated dick to be something I could actually see and touch. Let alone something that would actually ejaculate if you poured enough Jack Daniels into the novelty coin funnel,” remarked HoF patron Dewey Hawthorne. “The VR displays gave my six-year-old every nightmare you can possibly think of. I brought him here to learn about rock history, but instead he learned way too young what syphilis can do to your organs. He’s never seen that much pus before.”

Dave Grohl gave his perspective on the 27 Club showroom, which has now technically been classified as a war crime.

“You know, when Kurt [Cobain] died, I was as devastated as the shotgun blasted human skull they put on a pedestal in his section,” said Grohl. “Okay, I’ll say this for the exhibit: it really nailed home the trauma after a loved one dies senselessly young. Really, it was the lack of grief counseling in there that got the accurate state of 90s alt-rock emotional support just right.”

At press time, curators were working on a new exhibit entitled “The Buddy Holly, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Aaliyah Ride: Experience a Plane Crash Firsthand.”