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Polyphonic Spree Shocks Bennigan’s Wait Staff by Asking For 25 Separate Checks in Harmony

ELGIN, Ill. — The Texas-based orchestral pop collective The Polyphonic Spree stunned the wait staff of Bennigan’s when they requested 25 separate checks to be split among the group’s members in perfect harmony, sources who just wanted a break confirmed.

“No heads up, no phone call, not even an email from their tour manager. They all poured out of a single tour bus like clowns from a tiny car. They scampered through the door all wearing robes and each one of them had a dead-eyed smile that still gives me chills,” said waitress Jess Fogliano. “The entire time I was serving them they kept getting up to do that jumpy hippie dance, then switch seats and feed each other by hand. Which would have been fine but when I dropped off the check they sang about needing separate checks to the tune of their song ‘Light and Day.’ At least split it up by chorus, strings, and brass section or some shit. Like, you are all wearing the same fucking thing.”

Unaware of the disturbance they had produced, members of the large band fondly remembered the meal.

“Sharing a tour bus with one bathroom and twenty-five people can drain your inner self light. But then you stop for fast casual Irish pub food and you’re centered again,” said Piccolo player Austin Yerrick while counting out nickels and pennies to pay their check. “Honestly the Shamrockin’ Sangria may be the greatest cocktail on the planet, is what I thought until I tried the O’Malley’s Mojito! Two cocktails and a basket of ribs were so reasonably priced I had money left over to buy some crystals from a sidewalk vendor. The only downside is the staff didn’t let us join in on the birthday song for a six-year-old sitting at a table nearby who wouldn’t stop crying anytime one of us tried to dance with him.”

Food Sociologist Karen Bowie added insight into the relations between certain food and subcultures.

“It’s natural for what seems to be a church choir opting for food that hails from one of the most Catholic places on earth. We see it a lot with bands from California frequenting Mexican restaurants so they can complain about the burritos being better at home and how poor avocados are outside of Southern California,” said Bowie. “As far as being difficult, well I hope you never encounter a Ska band post-show at a Perkins, checkered shoes tracking scrambled eggs everywhere.”

At press time, a local ice cream shop announced they would be closing permanently after each member of the band asked for a sample and bankrupted the business.