LOS ANGELES — Local man Dwayne Jeffers’ enjoyment of a recent show was overshadowed by his debilitating anxiety at leaving at the same time as…
VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis is reportedly in talks with executives at Netflix to film three exclusive stand-up comedy specials after His Holiness used a…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Adam Rondeau was absolutely outraged that a venue did not provide a changing table in the men’s room so he…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Local woman Sarah Donnelly admitted that the parasocial relationship she shares with actor Kyle McLachlan through TikTok is exponentially more fulfilling than…
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, Calif. — Musical instrument retailer Guitar Center kicked off its biggest sales event of the year catered towards individuals entering their mid-life who…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local mailroom clerk and recently acquired boyfriend Jake Ramirez is reportedly feeling like the new guy at the office while he is…
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
LOS ANGELES — A late-night quest for the munchies turned tragic after a violent Doritos Locosplosion ripped through a Taco Bell causing nine dudes to…
Nothing brings me more pleasure and a sense of purpose in this world than serving my country. Even if that means having to travel to…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local conservative, and self-proclaimed free thinking punk, Eddie Duff was confused by what he described as “woke propaganda” in Dead Kennedys lyrics…
SEATTLE — Juror no. 11, local punk David Martin, told fellow jurors that this is his longest single stretch of continuous employment since entering the…
PADUCAH, Ky. — Self-proclaimed internet detective Ralph “RurualSherlock” Jenkins managed to only wreak havoc on the lives of three completely innocent individuals before promptly abandoning…
SAN FRANCISCO — A group of amateur ghost hunters recently declared they’ve captured evidence of paranormal activity in an abandoned Denny’s, claiming that the restless…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local conservative Bill Wallace announced he’s ramped up his fight against the liberal agenda by spending $4,000 a month to lease his…
LOS ANGELES — Local advocacy group the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign issued a chilling new public service announcement claiming overuse of marijuana could cause…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local cool guy Jared Bellweather left his house wearing two leather jackets in an attempt to double-up on his self-perceived hip appearance,…