ST. LOUIS – Budweiser is once again battling backlash after airing a Super Bowl commercial featuring Hank, a fancy Clydesdale pulling a hitch full of…
LAS VEGAS — Pop R&B star Usher revealed that he will mainly perform his character Gabe Santora from the 1998 alien invasion film “The Faculty”…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal musician, and noted septuagenarian, Ozzy Osbourne broke new ground when he became the first old white man to complain about…
WASHINGTON — Large factions of America’s right-wing who idolize Winston Churchill were united in horror at learning that he had a long-standing beef with German…
BOSEMAN, Mont. — Online activist Clark Dawson advanced the slow march to world peace and unity by commenting “do better” on a sponsored Instagram post…
MOSCOW – Controversial conservative firebrand and ‘journalist’ Tucker Carlson was recently spotted in Moscow to conduct his annual performance review with his boss Vladimir Putin,…
VERNON, Calif. — Top executives representing oil companies around the country remain concerned that they will not have enough soldiers to fight for non-renewable resources…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Ronny Stout’s blacked-out knuckle tattoos are forcing neighbors to assume the worst about what it used to say, suspicious sources…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced today that they reintroduced the American jock to the ecosystem in order to counteract what they…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard husk of a body could…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local man Gregory Cross had a distinct mullet that either made him seem like the most racist person at the bar…
SESAME STREET — The owner of used record store Mono Mono (Doot-Doo DooDooDoo) rejected a large clutch of records from longtime Street resident Cookie Monster…
Carl Weathers, actor, professional football player, and the only subject I could talk to my father about for more than fifteen seconds without trying to…
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. — Punxsutawney Phil, he world’s most famous groundhog, admitted he did not see his shadow which is expected to usher in early spring,…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A hot new startup company just launched a revolutionary weather app for aging punks that lets you know if it’s cold…