GLENDALE, Calif. — Disney’s beloved icon Mickey Mouse was unceremoniously fired after a decades-old airbrushed image of him smoking a joint recently surfaced online, Disney executives confirmed over the weekend.
“It’s with a heavy heart that we announce the termination of Mickey Mouse from the Disney family. We hold our characters to the highest standards of conduct and family-friendly values. Unfortunately, this particular image is not in line with the values Disney upholds,” stated Disney CEO Bob Iger in a solemn press conference. “This, sadly, comes right on the heels of us having to let Snow White go after a provocative, compromising image of her was found tattooed on the forearm of a motorcycle gang member in Sturgis, South Dakota. We have a zero tolerance policy here, and no exceptions are allowed.”
When reached for comment, Mickey Mouse himself denied any wrongdoing.
“That isn’t even me, folks! It looks nothing like me. This was done by some crappy street artist in Wisconsin Dells in the ‘90s. I’ve never been to The Dells! I’m contractually bound from ever going into a competitor’s theme park,” the once beloved entertainer said in a statement. “There are countless counterfeit renderings of me out there. I don’t want to point fingers, but Bart Simpson hasn’t been canceled for all of the crappy tie-dyed t-shirts of him saying some really bad stuff and even wearing blackface. The entire Looney Toons group did a photoshoot of them dressed up as ‘gangsta rappers.’ The ‘90s were a weird time, folks!”
Experts on corporate culture and media image have weighed in on the controversy, noting the complex dynamics at play.
“This incident highlights the pressures faced by long-standing brand icons to maintain a spotless public image,” explained Dr. Emily Greene, a professor of media studies. “The ’90s were a decade of artistic experimentation and rebellion, with trends like airbrushing, blacklights, and graffiti pushing boundaries and challenging norms. It’s not surprising that such a controversial image emerged from that era, but resurfacing in today’s context underscores the enduring impact of past artistic expressions on contemporary perceptions.”
Hot off the heels of his release from Disney, Mickey has announced he is joining an alt-right comedy tour to fight against cancel culture featuring Louis CK, Chris D’Elia, and Joe Rogan.