MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except for women and country music, unsurprised sources confirmed.
“I like a little of this, a little of that,” said Dillinger, interrupting a woman mid-sentence. “Some people are so tied to one genre or type of music, but not me: as long as it isn’t some bozo rambling about a pickup truck, or a woman expressing her feelings and opinions on basically anything, I can usually vibe with it. Country just gets so repetitive, and women are constantly bumming me out with all their complaints, so I just try to avoid those two genres in particular.”
Dillinger’s friends claim his versatile taste in music and clear disinterest in what women have to say dates back to his teenage years.
“Kenny is definitely the most cultured of us guys: he’s been to the French part of Canada like, four times, he doesn’t hate when movies have subtitles, and he’ll sometimes voluntarily eat vegan food,” claimed longtime friend Bill Morris while wiping wing sauce off his fingers. “One time, he came over out of the blue just to show me this wild African jazz album, and turned up the volume every time my wife tried to speak. I guess he’s got too refined a palate for some good old country tunes, or a reasonable discussion point from a college educated woman.”
Recent studies show Dillinger is a reflection of many American men’s sudden willingness to explore more eclectic music choices.
“This type of thing is actually becoming more and more common,” remarked Dr. Jeanne Marshall of the Abrams College Sociology Department. “Men everywhere are beginning to abandon traditional music choices and explore different genres — whether it’s electronic music, noise groups, or even some folk. Women, however, have remained solidly at the bottom of the list of what men nationwide say they’d prefer to listen to. We have seen men go through great lengths to avoid the opinion of a woman while openly fetishizing that same woman’s body.”
According to the study, rational arguments, empathetic points of view, and Top 40 hits were among the other genres to see a decrease in male audience.