GLENDALE, Calif. — Self-professed 36-year-old “film connoisseur” Bobby Colina’s bad day was salvaged by an accidental Good Samaritan calling him a hipster, sources report.
“To be honest, I was expecting something else to also go awry today. Either my cat was going to get sick, my long-distance girlfriend would want to break up, or my synth would finally crap out on me,” recalled Colina. “When I walked into the Barnes & Noble to inquire if they had the Criterion Collection Blu-Ray of ‘Ghost World,’ I heard someone behind me say under their breath loud enough for me to hear ‘fuckin’ hipster,’ and let me tell you the smile that came across my face erased any dour mood I was in because it really brought me back right back to 2013. Just me, my then-girlfriend, and a ‘She & Him’ vinyl playing in my apartment while we sat in the dark, plus I was 35 pounds lighter back then.”
Barnes & Noble employee Jessica Quinto witnessed the moment.
“I only remember the encounter because it was so awkward for everyone except the bearded guy. He wouldn’t stop asking me if I had seen some weird movie while I was searching on our computer. I kept saying I hadn’t but he wouldn’t stop describing how amazing it was and that I would totally like it if I saw it,” said Quinto. “The man behind him was getting impatient and blurted out the insult when the hipster said he would come back another day to ask if I saw the movie. You know, it was also kinda creepy how he paused then smiled after a long silence when the man called him that.”
A recent medical journal included a study from a renowned Cerritos College professor that shed light on this phenomenon.
“This is a brand-new discovery in the field of psychology,” stated Dr. Zeg, who specializes in Millennial Psychology. “The medical community has labeled these encounters ‘Nostalgic Millennial Negging’ wherein a millennial person acts in a way seeking to be insulted by another person so they may feel smug and superior to them. Many of the case studies show that people who were between the ages of 20-25 during the 2000’s might unknowingly be suffering from this affliction. We do recommend that if they have a strong urge to be insulted for their hobbies, preferences, or looks they should think about reaching out to a mental health care provider.”
As of press time, Colina has not found a new copy of ‘Ghost World.’