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Kid Magician So Good He’s Balding

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Wunderkind nine-year-old magician Bucky Hancock wowed a crowd of children and parents at his sister Allison’s birthday party in the Altura Park neighborhood Saturday in large part due to his untimely male pattern baldness, blown away sources confirmed.

“I’m amazed at what took place here today. This kid is beyond his years. By age 17 he could be fully bald and working the seven- to nine-year-old circuit,” said audience member Brent Kostlove. “I mean, I really don’t know how he pulled it off. He was so authentic. His tricks were on par with someone who only does magic on weekends to pay child support, his jokes were subtly off-color, and by the end of the show he was almost completely bald. I’m not sure if that was part of the show, but it certainly didn’t hurt the illusion.”

Hancock had been recognized for his unique gift at an early age.

“I’ve been called a prodigy by Magician’s Quarterly magazine and have even been featured on the cover as an ‘illusionist to watch,’” said Hancock while reading a Rogaine label to see if there was an age minimum to use it. “They say that baldness is passed down from your mother’s father. That checks out considering my grandpa was bald at birth and a nationally touring magician by age 8. At first I aspired to become the next David Blaine, but then, as hair loss set in, I realized the local circuit is where I’d most shine.”

Veteran magician Chuff Edwards has seen a lot of kids give magic a try but there’s something really special about Hancock.

“If I had to put it in words, I’d say it’s Bucky’s professional hairline,” said Edwards. “We saw a kid magician the other day who was extremely skilled at the craft, but he had Ryan Gosling-esque hair. It was essentially perfect, so no one took him seriously as a magic purveyor, even though he could literally levitate in his act. With Bucky, he has us hooked the second he enters the stage even though he gets your card wrong half of the time. He’s a pro.”

At press time, the party had broken for pizza while Hancock made balloon animals so uninspired he had every adult convinced he was a world-beaten middle-aged man in disguise.