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Guy Working Out to Pink Floyd Starting Workout with Solid 7-Minute Rest

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local gym rat Paul Deetz started his workout today with a full seven minutes of rest while the first track in his Pink Floyd playlist advanced beyond the intro and got to the singing part, pissed-off gym-going sources confirmed.

“I like to stay healthy and look good,” Deetz shouted over his enormous Sennheiser headphones Thursday, as he slowly performed 10 reps of biceps curls to “Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun.” “It takes a while to finish my workouts, but that’s fine. Really, the only problem I have is this tube amp for my headphones — it gets hot and I burned my elbow on it last week. Some people here think I’m a goof, but you can call me a crazy diamond.”

Deetz’s personal trainer Hasan “Hype” Dilmaz admitted Deetz is somewhat difficult to work with.

“I keep giving him workout plans, but his workout music is making it hard to do my job,” Dilmaz explained. “Almost all the songs are too slow or lack a beat altogether. Some of it I would even hesitate to call music. Plus, he’s erratic: one minute he’s rolling around on a yoga mat to ‘Comfortably Numb,’ then out of nowhere he switches to some chaotic Syd Barrett-era stuff and goes nuts with the kettlebells. Usually my hour is up before he’s finished his warmup.”

Gym owner Frank Tagliavento is well aware of Deetz’s strange gym antics.

 

“Paul’s very fit, because no normal person can bench press 300 pounds that slowly. It takes a lot of control, and his mind-muscle connection is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before,” Tagliavento explained. “But he’s an oddball for sure. He keeps insisting I change the mirrors to triangular ones, like on ‘Dark Side of the Moon,’ and he even brought this trippy oil projector one day, but it kept freaking out the younger fitness crowd. He pays his $400 a month membership fee just like everyone else, though, so I’m not complaining.”

In related news, a woman listening to a Mothers of Invention workout playlist never entered the gym as she carefully examined every leaf she walked past.

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