ORLANDO, Fla. — Local mother Doreen Ludip was shocked and outraged to discover a copy of the “Diary of Anne Frank,” which documents the Nazi occupation of The Netherlands, floating in waist-high water in the living room of her home, soaking wet sources confirmed.
“What an absolutely traumatic ordeal this has been. I came down the stairs in the morning to make lunch for my kids and get them ready to take the inflatable dingy to school when I seen [sic] it. That horrible book just floating there in front of me,” said Ludip from a nearby FEMA shelter. “I thought all the copies of this trash had been removed from the school library but it somehow found its way into my home even though I had boarded up the windows and put sandbags in the yard. Just goes to show you how this woke garbage is the biggest threat to America right now!”
Local school board member Frank Driscoll says he understands Ms. Ludip’s concerns and is taking steps to prevent it from happening again.
“This is an absolute tragedy that has happened here, and I vow that no parent or child will have to endure the nightmare of having to see that book again, not on my watch,” said Driscoll from the now roofless building that was once his office. “I am working with the rest of the board and the superintendent to prevent this leftist climate from flooding our streets with their Communist Marxist propaganda.”
Florida-based scientist Dr. Peter Flemming warns that this may be a trend that local residents will see happening more often in the coming years.
“From the data I have been collecting it seems that we have a potentially serious problem with long-term trends showing the level of woke books in our state that infect our youngsters’ minds could continue to rise in the near future,” said Flemming from his laboratory at the Marco Rubio Scientific Institute for Science. “By 2050, the map of Florida may look very different with the blue voting districts of the coasts encroaching further inland making the state uninhabitable for those of us who think learning basic history is indoctrination. What I fear is that we may be past the tipping point, and it is just inevitable now.”
At press time, Ludip was forced to evacuate her home after reports of a drag show approaching the Orlando area.