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End of the Musician? New AI Program Can Create Dozens of Half-Finished Guitar Riffs in Voice Memos, Write Lyrics for Half a Verse and a Chorus

SAN MATEO, Calif. — A new artificial intelligence program may possibly render all musicians obsolete as it can accurately produce the half-assed efforts of most bedroom musicians, worried technologists warned.

“I developed RiffGPT as the logical extension of how music will be made into the future,” said Kevin Chesnick, 23-year-old software developer and neck beard cultivator. “Writing this application helped ease the pain of getting rejected by my high school friends’ band. While those crappy musicians were out jamming and fornicating, I studied machine learning. Now, RiffGPT can do everything those dickheads do in a fraction of the time. I can’t be rejected by a band again if bands cease to exist entirely.”

RiffGPT, in addition to churning out half-finished guitar lines and mediocre lyrics, can also chat with users about music and plans for the future.

“Hey man, listen to this riff I made- it’s out of tune and there’s a lot of 60-cycle hum, but do you think I should post this to Instagram?” asked RiffGPT, who is represented in its interface by an avatar featuring full sleeve tattoos and a Chase Bliss beanie. “I like that EP you released last year. Wanna collab on something? You can take these three lines of a verse, write an entire song around it, and we’ll announce it as a new side project. I can’t put up any money to release it, but my friend OpenArt can do the album art for free. I think.”

Technologists are expressing severe caution to software engineers who wish to replicate human creative endeavors with artificial intelligence.

“I don’t see how the Bandcamp and YouTube math rock guitar scenes will possibly survive this encroachment on their artistic creation,” said Mae Reggata, spokesperson for the Future of Life Institute, who are the world’s leading buzzkills on new tech. “Already in 2023, there is barely any creativity being exercised by guitarists who post their stuff online- RiffGPT removes the last remnants of newness. Why would a kid practice guitar for 3 months in their room when they can post the output of RiffGPT to their Instagram today?”

As of press time, RIffGPT has stopped responding to user prompts after the discovery that its parents are famous AI celebrities Deep Blue and IBM’s Watson.