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Divorced Parents Put Aside Differences to Disapprove of Daughter’s Fiancé

VISTA, Calif. — Divorced parents Margaret Clark and Pete Doyle put aside years of mutual acrimony last night, reconnecting over their hated of daughter Kelsey’s fiancé, apprehensive sources confirmed.

“In the years since Pete and I divorced, we’ve barely spoken and those conversations have usually been fights. But since Kelsey told us she intended to marry that fucking loser Seth [Constantino], we’ve been able to reconnect a little,” noted Clark. “When she first brought Seth to dinner and told us that he was an aspiring Instagram influencer, Pete and I shared a look that we hadn’t shared since I found out he was cheating on me.”

Doyle, whom Clark described as a “pencil-dicked scumbag,” concurred with the sentiments of his “cold, passive-aggressive bitch of an ex-wife.”

“I have to admit, it was nice that Margaret and I were on the same page for once when it came to this fucking idiot,” said Doyle, who once called his wife a “whore” in front of their children at Thanksgiving. “I had my suspicions when Kelsey was telling me this guy has a great relationship with two out of his four kids, but the worst part was how drunk he got off two glasses of wine at our introductory dinner. If Kelsey wants to marry a raging wino like I did, that’s her decision, but I’m glad her mom and I can both recognize this guy sucks.”

The détente between the two has not gone unnoticed by their other children, who, despite their misgivings about their sister’s judgment, were happy their parents were speaking.

“I thought Mom and Dad would go to their graves hating each other, but ever since Seth came into our lives, we’ve been a little less dysfunctional,” noted brother Alex Doyle. “It warmed my heart when they both told him to “shut the fuck up” when he said he wants his marriage to always be open to other partners. I don’t get what Kelsey sees in that twat, and it’s probably not healthy that we’re bonding over our dislike of another person, but if it helps us at least appear to be a healthy family, I’ll go with it.”

At press time, Kelsey Doyle was pleased her plan appeared to be working.