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Developer Keeping Austin Weird With Absurd Lease Agreements

AUSTIN, TX – With stipulations like “TV Can Only Be Used to Watch Spanish Language Three’s Company” and “Carpet Ceiling,” Austin real estate magnate Joel Frusco is making his commitment to keeping Austin weird by contractually obligating the residents of his many rental properties to a series of bizarre leasing terms.

Frusco, an Austin resident since 2002, says he just wants to help grow the city’s unique culture.

“I’ve been living in Austin since the early 2000s and things were just better back then. Lots of people who come here now don’t understand the vibe we had back in ’02. Austin was truly a place you could come and be your own person and I’ve seen the city getting away from that. So now, if you live in one of my buildings, you might be required to grow a rat tail made out of someone else’s hair,” said Frusco, gently stroking one of the many lizards that are constantly perched on his shoulders.


With real estate in the greater Austin area at a premium, most residents seem happy with the additional stipulations as long as the property meets their other criteria. “Well, I needed a place that was close to work and had a gym,” said Sky Arms resident Melissa Mink. “Once I had those things, dressing in Kiss makeup twice a week wasn’t that big a deal. And I actually enjoy the mandatory juggling classes.”

In order to get the complete picture, Frusco asked that we share a recent Craigslist posting for one of his newer properties to illustrate his commitment to the area:

Charming, well maintained Rosedale bungalow. Hardwood floors. 2 beds. 1 bath. No actual bath as ‘bath’ is defined herein as a concept or idea. Tenant must maintain 100% parrot-on-shoulder ratio 4 days a week. Large stack of Bedazzled hubcaps in front yard non-negotiable. Tenant must tell everyone it is a “rocket to heaven.” 540sqft. $2500/month.