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Couple Separated by Mosh Pit Promise to Find Each Other Again Someday

CHICAGO — David Arrivale and Michelle Esposito were tragically separated after wandering too close to a mosh pit during a recent Good Hangs show, confirmed sources.

“It all happened so fast,” Arrivale said, still visibly shaken. “We had a perfect spot in front of the sound booth, but then this guy—who must have been 6’5”—just parked himself right in front of us. We tried to find a better spot during the second song, but then the pit opened up. It was manageable at first but then the singer leaned over the stage with the microphone pointed at the crowd. Of course, I had no choice but to get in there and sing along. I should’ve stayed with her but there are codes you have to abide by in the pit: someone falls down, you pick them up and when a microphone is thrust into the crowd, you rush toward it like a baby bird at feeding time. I just miss her and want her to know that I love her. I’ve already filed a missing persons report and stapled several flyers around the venue asking for any information about her whereabouts.”

Eyewitnesses described the couple’s attempt to stay together as a bold but ultimately doomed effort.

“Mosh pits are tricky, if you aren’t careful you can end up on the front lines of a wall of death,” explained showgoer James Antone. “And from my vantage, they weren’t being all that careful. I could see them struggling and at one point it looked as though he just abandoned her. And once the circle pit gets going, casual bystanders are sucked in like a vortex and forced to establish a new life on the other side of the floor.”

Venue security held a press conference outside shortly after the incident occurred, detailing their response to the chaotic scene.

“Our team initially tried to enter the pit in an attempt to pull the couple out,” explained Jordan Fellows, the venue’s head of security and sometimes barback. “The situation became more chaotic after the singer practically jumped into the crowd. I have my guy’s safety to think about. We called off the rescue operation after determining they could just wait till the song ended to reunite. That didn’t work out. We’ve assumed they’re both dead at this point.”

Meanwhile, Arrivale contacted a milk company to see about getting Esposito’s photograph on the back of a carton in an attempt to track her down.