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Couple Announce They’re “Trying” for a Dog

SALT LAKE CITY — Local couple Elizabeth Pearson and Donny Appleton are reportedly announcing to friends that they are “trying” for a dog, confused sources confirmed.

“We feel like we’ve been ready for a bundle of furry joy for a long time, but we finally made the big decision to start telling our friends that we’re trying,” said Pearson while researching the most popular puppy names of the year. “We don’t care if it’s a rescue or a purebred, as long as it’s healthy. Any pup that we get, we know we’ll love with all of our hearts. But you know how they say that some dogs start to look like their owners? I’m not going to lie, we both think that would be pretty swell.”

Dominic Underwood, a longtime friend, is pretty worried about the way this was announced.

“Look, we’re not stupid. We know Liz and Donny are a little naive at times, but this ‘trying’ announcement has pushed me from confused to concerned. It’s like they’re taking this dog parent thing way too literal,” said Underwood. “There were several times where they made reference to a stork in their announcement. I was nervous that they were just sitting around and waiting for a dog to appear on their doorstep, so I asked them to at least go talk to my friend at the shelter.”

Jeffrey Correa has volunteered at a local shelter in the city for years.

“Technically, we do have to interview people to make sure they’re not complete psychopaths. But it’s really a formality. We’ll basically give anyone a dog if they just sign their name on a form and give us about 20 bucks,” said Correa. “This couple I just met though, oh my god. I’m not so sure. They told me they were being responsible, not drinking and even gave up caffeine now that they’re trying for a dog. The more they talked about ‘doggie-proofing’ their home, the more I wondered how they survived this long in the world. Like, how do they not get hit by a bus? I’m starting to wonder if it’d be considered animal cruelty to give them a dog at this point.”

At press time, the couple had started sending invites for a dog gender reveal party after discovering their application to adopt was approved.