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Class Division Kept Alive by Man Mocking Friends Who Use Hulu With Ads

CONCORD, N.H. — Local trust fund kid Gil Winchester once again mocked his friends for electing to watch a more cost-effective version of Hulu with advertisements and commercials instead of the commercial-free premium package, frustrated sources confirm.

“Call me crazy, but I get a little annoyed watching the same for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines commercial every eight fucking minutes. I prefer watching my shows uninterrupted and I don’t understand why some people can’t shell out a couple extra bucks to make that happen,” said Winchester. “Sometimes I wonder why I’m even friends with these people. They are always complaining about their jobs, inflation, and ‘making ends meet’ and I want to be like ‘bro, I have problems too. My Dad’s stock portfolio took a huge hit and we might have to wait a week to get our third boat.’”

Tony Miller, one of Winchester’s oldest friends, confirmed he indeed watches Hulu with ads.

“I guess it’s just a matter of priorities. I enjoy the time I get to myself watching TV, but I also have a baby to raise. And diapers aren’t cheap lately,” said Miller. “Gil and I went to college together. He loves to throw his weight around any chance he gets. No one heard the end of it when he got a new SUV and a huge promotion at his parent’s law firm. Yesterday he asked me why I still live in a one-bedroom apartment when there are bigger houses for sale in my town, right before laughing at me for driving the same used car for the past decade.”

Representatives for Hulu say they hold all subscribers in high regard no matter which streaming option they choose.

“We just wanted to create entertainment experiences for everyone. Ad revenue is a big part of our income, we couldn’t just get rid of them, but we never thought creating two different payment options would cause such division,” said Hulu president Joe Earley through stifled laughter. “No I’m just kidding, we totally saw that coming, why do you think we separated those options in the first place? No one pays premium Hulu prices for quality original content like they expect with Netflix. They pay it to flex on their poor sucker neighbors.”

At press time, Winchester explained he does not plan to stop using his sister’s Netflix account, stating, “Fuck those prices.”