Press "Enter" to skip to content

Band Takes Break in Middle of Set to Plug Sponsors Blue Apron and ZipRecruiter

CORVALLIS, Ore. — Local punk band No Thank You took a quick breather in the middle of their set to promote their sponsors Blue Apron and ZipRecruiter, sources who’ve heard of those companies but couldn’t care less confirmed.

“It’s literally the only way we can get properly compensated for our art,” said lead singer Lee Treadwell before asking if he was allowed to swear on this thing. “We actually get a little bit of money thrown at us every time we mention one of our many sponsors. That’s why in addition to plugging them in between songs we have several lyrics specifically about our advertisers. Our song ‘Love Is a Four-Letter Word’ actually has several references to, and the chorus to ‘Leave Already’ is just the words ‘like a good neighbor State Farm is there’ said repeatedly. Some say it’s sad what we’re doing, but to that we say ‘cha-ching.’”

Members of the audience weren’t quite sure what to make of their choice of in-between song stage banter.

“Even their merch booth seemed to consist exclusively of hydro flasks and t-shirts with various sponsors’ logos printed on them. Still can’t believe they ran out of medium-sized Squarespace shirts though,” said Luke Stainwell, who was actually there to see a different band. “I mean, yeah, it was extremely cringe to see a band succumb to their capitalist overlords like that. But on the other hand, they gave me the promo code ‘punk4life’ to get 20% off my next MeUndies order. That’s pretty sweet.”

Local marketing analyst Judy Steinway believes this is only the beginning of advertisers’ attempts to encroach upon the arts.

“Sponsors are slowly figuring out more creative ways to infiltrate our everyday lives with these live product placements,” said Steinway. “First it was television commercials and social media. Now it’s during local shows. Next these companies are going to start paying people to promote them through everyday conversations. Don’t be surprised if one day a discussion with your therapist about your childhood trauma quickly devolves into a brief plug from one of the hundreds of meal prep kit companies out there. That’s Orwellian or Kafkaesque. One of those.”

At press time, No Thank You decided to maximize their advertising revenue by releasing an album called “Toyotathon” which will be followed up with a record called “Lexus’ December to Remember.”