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Classifieds: Free Fundraiser, Eye Contact, And Stupid Fucking Unicycles

Whether you love livin’ in the city or want a suburban home, get what you need to survive in your local scene.

For Sale

Seattle, WA: Fixed-Gear Bicycle – “It’s green. The trim stuff around the tires is green, too. Bike’s pretty light, or I guess lighter than most bikes. Missing front wheel, seat, pedals. Comes with free lock; does not work. I did not steal this bike. Call/text (898) 459-0988.” $950.

West Chester, PA: Skinhead Memorabilia – “Records, shirts, patches, zines, and all kinds of stuff. No questions asked, which goes both ways. Come here and take it off my hands, and we won’t look at each other in the eyes. Lots of really important historical pieces here, if you know what I mean. Seriously, don’t look me in the eyes. Call (969) 232-8556.” $200 OBO.



Matewan, WV: Wanted – “Singer ISO guitarist, bassist, drummer, lyrics, style tips, rehearsal space, built-in fan base. Must have own transportation.”

Tucson, AZ: Rants & Raves – “If you one-wheel eco friendly unicycle fucktards would follow the ‘rules of the road’ instead of a few that suit your purpose, it might help. 10 of you riding right behind each other while wearing matching outfits is real fucking stupid when the first one falls down and you become human dominos. I really don’t care how you ride, but remember some basic physics. And use your goddamn signals. I may not ‘own’ the road, but I pay much more than you in road use fees, tags, insurance, etc.”

Saginaw, MI: W4M – “So intense. You asked me for my ID, looked down at it for a moment, then back into my eyes, then back at my ID, then back to my eyes and held my gaze for a what felt like a lifetime. You asked my birthday; I said it was today and after one last, long glance, you let me past. Call (494) 407-9291 to look a little deeper… I can’t imagine you look at everyone that closely on a Tuesday night. Do you? If you do, please don’t respond.”

Show Listings

Keep up with the best shows happening in your home town.

Sunday, 9/25/16, Portland, OR @ The Glass House – The Yankee Slammers, Cat Rage, and Napkin Brigade. 7 p.m., $5.

Wednesday, 9/28/16, Minneapolis, MN @ Ragtime Relaunch – “A Night of Activism Sure To Make A Difference.” Featuring Social Disaster (Denver), Punch Trunk (CA), Not My Presidenté (El Paso) and Crust Fund. All money raised will be donated to TBD charity. 8 p.m., FREE.

Friday, 9/30/16, Worcester, MA @ The Spot – Closed for renovation.

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