Stephen Bell
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September 15, 2023
PHILADELPHIA — Jealous husband and punker Shaun Grables is starting to suspect that his wife is secretly having sex with…
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The Hard Times Staff
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September 14, 2023
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Organizers of a spelling bee primarily focused on metal band names were disappointed to see every…
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The Hard Times Staff
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September 13, 2023
SAN JOSE — Local man Chris Bendar, 32, very carefully found a verbal path around mentioning TikTok when recommending Petey’s…
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Nathan Kamal
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September 13, 2023
SALEM, Ore. — Local father of four and avid collector of vinyl records Douglas Buckner is unsure whether his children…
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The Hard Times Staff
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September 12, 2023
[caption id="attachment_160686" align="aligncenter" width="1048"] Click here to preorder[/caption] Petey USA was born a 14-year-old boy in the crowd at a…
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Joe Rumrill
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September 12, 2023
SAN BRUNO, Calif. — A sick-to-his-stomach backstage passholder at a recent Buckethead concert spent the whole night making sure to…
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Chris Bowen
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September 11, 2023
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Local die-hard Casualties fan Jeremy Stillman was struck with what was described as "blood curdling terror"…
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Courtney Hill
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September 10, 2023
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose…
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Sara Mellas
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September 10, 2023
EDISON, N.J. — Local high school band and orchestra teacher Christa Dimarco mastered the vocal art of screaming at a…
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Mike Maher
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September 9, 2023
RENO, Nev. – Fans of Santana feat. Rob Thomas were overjoyed to learn the duo is reuniting for a one-song,…
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