Politics Archives - Page 11

160 Million Americans Added to Suspected Terrorist List

Mark Roebuck • August 6, 2019

WASHINGTON — The United States government has added the over 160 million Americans that play video games to a growing…

With Japan Having Just Six Shooting Deaths Last Year, It’s Clear the Solution to Gun Violence Is Tentacle Porn

David Sitrick • August 5, 2019

What, do you have any better ideas? If you have access to these life saving videos of Japanese tentacle pornography, please…

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Kamala Harris Announces Debt-Forgiveness Program for Gamers Who Finish Mother 4

Jeremy Kaplowitz • July 29, 2019

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Senator Kamala Harris announced a new policy plan that erases all student debt for gamers who are…

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You Cannot Have a Sex Scandal If You Have Never Had Sex

Ace Watkins • July 28, 2019

My fellow Americans: First, let me thank you for the overwhelming support I have received just a month into my…

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Opinion: All Twitch Streamers Deserve a Minimum Viewership

Ace Watkins • July 16, 2019

Much has been made of economic inequality during this election. While I agree that it’s a major problem, there is…

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Anti-Loot Box Senator Wakes Up to Crate With 1/5 Chance of Containing Horse Head

M.J. Amory • July 10, 2019

WASHINGTON — Freshman Republican Senator from Missouri, Josh Hawley, discovered a box in his bed that said it contained a…

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Ace Watkins is the First Gamer to Run for President of the United States

Hard Drive Staff • July 8, 2019

Hard Drive is officially endorsing Ace Watkins for President of the United States. Today he announced his candidacy with the…

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Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash

Gabie Barnes • July 3, 2019

WASHINGTON — A White House staffer confirmed earlier this week that President Trump had not yet been briefed about Nintendo’s…

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Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStation

Dan Kozuh • July 1, 2019

CONCORD, N.H. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced his “Gaming for All” legislative plan, which would provide government-backed equal play…

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Shocked Tank Receives 60,000 Gold Bill After Using Out-of-Network Healer

Ella Gale • June 26, 2019

RAWL’KHA, Reaper’s March — After receiving care from a High Elf healer during a veteran run of Moon Hunter Keep,…

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