Doug Kolic
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LOS ANGELES — U2 frontman Bono announced that the wildfires in California have devastated enough property and ruined a sufficient…
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Tim Graham
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EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Kevin Wright announced plans to leave all of his worldly possessions to his best…
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Trevor Graham
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BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local 43-year-old Craig Peterson entered a new phase of life where he lets out an involuntary groan…
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Jason Clemence
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently paid his respects to filmmaker David Lynch with a drawn out speech primarily focusing…
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Jacky Pritchard
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EDMONDS, Wash. — Local punk Joe Solomon suggested his friend Donald Dell ditch his crippling Zyn addiction by switching to…
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Doug Kolic
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NEW YORK — The Chrysler Building was recently overheard complaining that it wasn’t one of the buildings targeted by terrorists…
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Tim Graham
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NORTH ATTLEBORO, Mass. — Several youths were ordered to stop playing with miniature skateboards by very small police officers outside…
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Dom Turek
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RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Just days away from completing his dry January goal, local abstainer Adam Cowell gave in to mounting…
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Jason VanSlycke
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DENVER — Local biker gang The Chaos Crusaders was reportedly riding around town in matching outfits, captivated and deafened sources…
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Rob Ryder
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OSLO, Norway — Physicists at the Goering Institute of Hardcore Physics recently discovered a new form of toilet paper thinner…
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