Jose Balderas
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May 28, 2025
SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Local father Jay Vander couldn’t wait until his newborn son was old enough to show…
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Steve Packosky
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May 27, 2025
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — President Donald Trump’s decision to terminate all of the federal government’s remaining contracts with Harvard University resulted…
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Amber Hendrix
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May 27, 2025
RICHMOND, Va. — Local Project Manager Bart McDonnell claimed recently to have discovered the Rosetta Stone of productivity, dubbing himself…
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WINDSOR, Conn — Local terrible cousin Terry Reynolds made everyone uncomfortable at his family’s annual Memorial Day BBQ by loudly…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Tim Sheard
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May 24, 2025
WASHINGTON — Popular YouTube children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel sparked backlash from pro-life right-wing commentators for her brave stance against ongoing…
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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Administrators at Harvard University are currently reaching out to everyone in their network and asking if anyone…
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Nathan Kamal
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May 23, 2025
CHICAGO — Local 42-year-old man Marshall Reese is descending into a nightmarish, unending spiral of increasingly comforting sleepytime teas, unable…
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Tim Sheard
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May 22, 2025
WASHINGTON — Democratic leaders praised their own strategy of placing “gate” at the end of Trump-led Republican crimes in the…
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Tim Graham
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May 22, 2025
BOSTON — Frequent flyer Kaitlyn Massey was surprised to learn that venerable shock jock Howard Stern is still alive and…
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