Sidney Conant
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local Submissive Seventh fan and total dweeb Derek Maldonado reportedly threw away any remaining ounce of self-respect…
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Sarah Cortina
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BUSHWICK, N.Y. — Bushwick child Avery Bridgerton reportedly acted quite cagey when questioned on the playground about how they could…
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Dan Kozuh
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Health officials working the medical tent at the popular Living Flesh Music Festival have confirmed reports of…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance was reportedly left sitting on the curb for several hours today after President Trump…
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Chris Bowen
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CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local forklift driver Kenny Avalon couldn't resist the urge to show you a Facebook video of a…
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Patrick Coyne
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MOAB, Utah — Local sociopath and murder enthusiast Greg Allen Hargrove reportedly left his favorite blade casually hanging over the…
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Matt Husser
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Second Amendment enthusiast Greg Browner reportedly sprang into action today after the advice “only a good guy…
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Bobby Korec
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SAN FRANCISCO — Leftist software engineer Connor Newburg vocally expressed wishing that he could travel back in time to kill…
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Tim Graham
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PHILADELPHIA — University of Pennsylvania graduate Nathan Swain says he’s been inundated with calls from recruiters since completing his degree…
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Mike Maher
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PORTLAND, Maine — Cardiac surgeon and punk rocker Dr. David “Cutter” Peters mistakenly left a pack of cigarettes inside patient…
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