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We Sat Down With Our Airbnb Hosts Because if They’re Gonna Leave Us a Review Like That They Better Say It to Our Faces

This past weekend we needed a place to crash for the night. We found “Entire Guesthouse in Bowling Green – Cozy & Clean in Kentucky” hosted by Gary and Gina and booked it for $48 a night plus a $34 service fee and a $54 cleaning fee. We’re frugal so we were determined to get our money’s worth.

We showed up around midnight, let ourselves in, and had a typical night. The next morning we left by 8 o’clock. Later that day, we got an email saying Gary and Gina had left us a scathing one star review. That’s why we went back and sat down with our Airbnb hosts to see if they’d say that shit to our faces.

The Hard Times: Hey motherfuckers! Bet you didn’t think we’d read that shit, huh? Get out here!
Gary and Gina: Get off our property!

Ohhhh big tough Airbnb hosts hiding behind their big tough Airbnb. You know what, now we’re glad we left you a lower decker.
We’re calling the cops.

Okay, so admittedly, we didn’t read the check-out instructions in full. But even if we did, if you’re gonna ask us to play maid before we leave, then what the fuck is the cleaning fee for? And frankly, it’s a little bold of you to assume we know how to turn on a washing machine.
This is your last chance, please leave.

As far as the toilet paper stuff, the closet was wide open. We thought we were supposed to help ourselves, like at any other public bathroom that leaves extra rolls unlocked for customers and guests to take.
Hello, 911?

Honestly, it’s fine. Whatever. Cowards.