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We Rank the Albums of Nick Cave Because We Heard a Girl We Like Is Into Him

Here at Hard Style we’ve got a huge crush on this girl Heather who works at a coffee shop near our office. She’s so cool! Recently we overheard her talking to a co-worker about how much she loves Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. This could be our in!

Here is our definitive ranking of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds discography for the sole purpose of getting Heather to notice us.

15. The Good Son – 1990
14. Your Funeral… My Trial – 1986
13. No More Shall We Part – 2001
12. Push The Sky Away – 2013
11. From Her To Eternity – 1984

These 5 albums rank low on our list because they are the albums we are least familiar with, and we’ll want to shift focus away from them when we finally land that conversation with Heather.

10 Kicking Against The Pricks – 1986

9. Henry’s Dream – 1992
8. The Firstborn Is Dead – 1985
7. Nocturama – 2003
6. Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! – 2008

These albums fill out the middle of our list because we have heard of them. We could probably name one or two songs off of most of them if need be. If Heather mentions one of these albums we could probably say something like “oh yeah, that one has such a creepy baroque vibe to it!” and then hopefully move on to an album we’re more versed in.

Have you talked to her? Did she mention us?

5. Murder Ballads – 1996

An ambitious album with macabre subject matter matched by a Broadway aesthetic, we’ll bet bottom dollar that this album would be somewhere on Heather’s top 5.

4. Abattoir Blues/The Lyre Of Orpheus – 2004
One of the songs on the album was used in a Harry Potter movie, another thing we’ve heard that Heather is way into.

3. Let Love In – 1994
Hands down our favorite album by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Red Right Hand is one of the most iconic songs of all time. But we feel like if we told Heather this was our favorite Nick Cave album she would roll her eyes and say something like “that’s what everybody says” and we don’t want to run that risk, so it’s number three.

2. Tender Prey – 1988
Tender Prey comes in at number two because it has that song Mercy Seat that Johnny Cash covered. So we could be like “Yeah, I love that Johnny Cash cover of Mercy Seat, are you into him at all?” and then maybe we could talk about that and then maybe talk about other things. We don’t want to pigeon hole ourselves into just talking about Nick Cave. Gotta have outs. Everything has to be perfect.

1. The Boatman’s Call – 1997
This one takes the top spot because it has the sort of barebones stripped down aesthetic that we could totally see Heather praising.

Ok here it goes. We’re going to get over our shyness, walk into that coffee shop and try to start a conversation with Heather. Maybe it will go well, maybe it won’t, but that’s ok. We just need to accept the fact that not every girl is into dating entire writing staffs of mixed age race and gender.