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We Dropped Our Tarot Cards in the Toilet, That Can’t Be Good

Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. We just dropped our tarot cards in the toilet bowl. That can’t be a good sign. Can it? I mean, we’re new to reading these things but we’re pretty sure the last step isn’t “drop into toilet water because you’re lazy and decided to do this at work.”

Did we just curse ourselves?

Maybe it’s ok. It was an accident, by the way. We weren’t trying to do this. That’s what we’ll have to tell the plumber (who is on the way) because boy-oh-boy did these magical cards clog the toilet. Probably because of their prophetic energies.

Plus, a little stream of water launched by the bidet post-incident was almost a triumphant, celebratory kind of thing! Wow. What a way to re-contextualize it. Way to go, team! Just like the, uh, tower card says: Do or do not, there is no try. Or the maiden. Is there a maiden card? We’ll never know because the whole deck is ruined. Goddamn it.

Here’s what we’ll tell the boss, ok? We were informed of a “water systems emergency” by a customer and had to attend to it. Upon arriving at the scene, we discovered the still-unidentified customer had left various items within the toilet which we proceeded to attempt to dislodge. We failed. That’s a good story, right? That tracks? Will they believe it? We would ask the cards, but they’re soiled. Does anyone have a coin we could flip? From everything we’ve learned about reading these fucking cards, a coin is basically the same thing.