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Trouble in Paradise? John Delaney Arrives at Second DNC Debate with Bangs

John Delaney may be in free-fall. In a move that campaign staffers are calling “completely non-symbolic,” John Delaney arrived at the second Democratic National Debate with freshly-cut bangs.

“Don’t they look great?” Delaney asked a reporter on Tuesday. “I cut them myself.”

Uhm, yeah John, we can tell.

Delaney’s campaign manager has insisted that the hairstyle change has nothing to do with his failing polling numbers, and assured reporters that Delaney “still plans to bring forth his bold vision of stalling any sort of forward progressive vision that other candidates may bring to the table.”

Delaney, despite polling around zero percent and being the victim of a #DropOutDelaney campaign on Twitter that has had largely more support than his own, claims that the bangs are just a “fresh look” and mean nothing more beyond that.

One intern paints a different picture, however, claiming Delaney spent all of Monday preparing for the debate by staying in bed, ordering potstickers from Postmates, and watching season three of Stranger Things. “I asked him if he wanted to go over some possible questions that he may be asked on the debate stage, and he didn’t really want to, so I just reminded him to drink lots of water.”

Delaney was quick to end his interaction with the press citing an important conference call, but several eye witnesses confirmed he was just placing an ASOS order from his cell phone.

At debate time, no water was seen at Delaney’s podium, but he did arrive fifteen minutes late with an iced coffee.

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