Hey there, little guy. I’m your uncle, John, but everyone calls me Bonez. So… what colors you like? Nothing? Okay then, what’s your favorite Disney movie? Come on, kid. Give me something. What kind of toddler are you? I bet you can’t even name three shapes.
What the hell, dude? I don’t need you waddling around my space if you’re gonna pretend to be something you’re not. How do I know you’re not a narc? You’re hard to read. Probably because you haven’t completely developed the facial muscles to communicate subtle nonverbal cues. So fuckin’ just name three shapes and we can go on with our day. Two shapes? One? Do you need a hint? There’s like, five fucking shapes on your shirt!
What shape am I pointing at? The three-sided shape. No, that’s my cat. That shape, right there. What the hell is it? “Tangle?” Close enough. I’ll give you points for that. Where I’m from we call it a “triangle” but I can respect generations utilizing language as they see fit.
Look, little punk, you won’t survive in this world without being able to represent your scene. Shit, I’m trying to do you a favor here. Imagine how little I would have accomplished in life if I didn’t know every Black Flag line-up. I don’t think my sister would trust me to babysit her kid in between shifts at Circle K without this level of street cred.
Damn dude, you don’t have to cry about it. Seriously, please stop crying. Oh, dude, you’re being such a buzzkill. Okay, okay. How about I help you? Is that cool? Dope.
Alright, so let’s start with the circle. You have to learn that if you’re gonna be able to tag the anarchy logo on shit. Can you say “circle?” No, that’s still my cat. Fine, we’ll move on.