All my life, I have felt that my soul was resonating sympathetically with another being’s essence. A spirit animal, if you will.
Perhaps my spirit animal could be a fennec fox, with its cute and distinctive ears, which would symbolize the cute quirks in my personality. Or maybe the great black bear, representing my fierce loyalty and need to protect the ones I love.
But my spiritual reality came crashing down around me when I finally confirmed the identity of my true spirit animal: Ben Carr.
What the fuck is a Ben Carr?
And that’s exactly what I asked the psychic who apparently didn’t know either. After a quick Google search I learned that Ben Carr is the dancing guy from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
OK, let’s calibrate. My spirit animal is the full-time on-stage dancer of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I can accept that. I mean, Ben Carr seems like a totally fictional internet hoax but my older brother who was in middle school in the ’90s assures me he’s real.
Looks like I’ll be selling all of my Lululemon yoga pants and Lilly Pulitzer maxi dresses before heading to Goodwill to get some checkered suits and pork-pie hats, I guess. This is my life now.
The psychic said she had no idea how it happened. She said she looked at me and it was just the impression that she got. I’m still holding out hope that she was just fucking with me.
Silver lining, at least my spirit animal isn’t a bassist.
Buy our t-shirts so we can afford to hire a guy to just dance next to us while we write:
Article by John Danek @jjdanek