As America found out on November 5th, it took more than being “brat” to win the election. Charli XCX, the Mother of all Mothers, endorsed Kamala when she replaced Biden, yet the hottest pop girlie of 2024 couldn’t keep Trump from taking back the White House.
Never mind that it should be the brat Green House now, and have a spot for Boiler Room sets in the West Wing. We need to learn from the past to see what the left needs to get right in 2028.
This was no “Pokémon Go to the Polls,” folks. Kamala and Charli were destined for greatness. When Kamala burst onto the scene with that whole “coconut tree” thing, and Charli made waves with the song “girl, so confusing,” the pair seemed meant to be.
If only Bushwick got 100 electoral votes. If only Kamala’s campaign centered around legalizing poppers. She had the perfect chance to attack Trump not as a fascist, but as “very mindful, very demure,” and run with brat all the way to November. Lean the fuck into it! I mean, look at Trump with Grimes’ ex!
Sadly, playing these “what-if” games is futile now. You want to know how badly she fucked up? All the MAGA movement needed from the world of music was Kid Rock and that guy who used to fuck you up in high school that scream-raps into his phone over a $5.99 beat. Those endorsements pushed them while the DNC was trying to get Biden on a remix of “club classics” so he could support his VP with grace and dignity from afar.
Since Trump won with has-beens and, let’s face it, brat Summer will be forgotten the way Barbenheimer is now by next year, let’s have the Dems try the same trick in 2028. Have the campaign ads say that brat’s lime-ass green is the new blue—and I guarantee that the right will have met their Charli-stanning match.