As the secret proceedings of the Papal Conclave draw to a close, millions of people around the world are waiting with bated breath for the announcement of the next Pope. But there’s a different conversation happening in Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock: Is the world ready for the first openly Muppet Pope?
Muppets have been an integral part of Catholicism for a millenia, even launching their own First Muppet Crusade when the Muppets took Constantinople in the year 1202. But the higher echelons of power have always been strictly off-limits to Muppetkind, as Muppets weren’t even allowed to become ordained to priesthood until Father Gonzarini was controversially ordained by an American Bishop in the 15th century before founding the oldest Catholic Church in Sesame Street.
Despite the discrimination they faced from the Church, it’s possible that an incoming Muppet Pope wouldn’t be the first — there were hushed whispers that 17th century Pope Grover IV was secretly a muppet due to his scraggly blue fur, flappy mouth, and googly eyes, but historical records could never substantiate this claim. However an openly Muppet Pope is another matter entirely, and would face scrutiny from more conservative Cardinals that believe Muppetry is a sin, interpreting Leviticus 19:19 “Neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.” to mean that never shall the woollen fur of a Muppet be allowed to wear the sacred Papal robes.
But in recent years, more progressive stances have been adopted by the late Pope Francis, paving the way for darkhorse candidates like Cardinal Rizzo Ratzibaldi, a progressive Muppet Catholic who is a staunch advocate for Muppet rights and is outspoken about anti-Fraggle discrimination. The idea has even entered pop culture, with an alternative ending of the Oscar-nominated film Conclave showing a leading Cardinal candidate opening his robes to reveal his fuzzy Muppet fur before diving into a musical number.
When the Conclave finally ends and the white smoke pours into the sky signalling the election of a new Pope, keep an eye out for bits of felt and fluff ushering in a new era of Muppet Catholicism.