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Opinion: As An IDF Soldier Tasked To Train American Police Officers, I Should Also Be Allowed To Kill Unarmed Civilians While I’m There

Nothing brings me more pleasure and a sense of purpose in this world than serving my country. Even if that means having to travel to the United States a few times a year to train these idiot Americans on how to properly beat the ever-loving shit out of other human beings. Or as they like to put it “protecting and serving their communities.” I mean, I have my own communities to “protect and serve” at home, ya know?

I don’t mean to complain but if I’m going to be over there watching unarmed civilians through the scope of a sniper, I should be able to pull the trigger and then create a settlement on their land. If I can do it back home with impunity then why can’t I do it over there?

I mean, I get it. We wouldn’t be able to murder a fraction of the children we do back home without the weapons and financing from the United States taxpayers, I’m forever grateful for the war machines they provide. I guess using my tactical weapon and hand-to-hand combat expertise to train their neighborhood foot soldiers to properly do the same is a fair trade.

I just wish someone would give us the green light to catch a couple bodies while we’re there. It’d be great for my TikTok. My followers love getting a peak at what my day-to-day life is like, yeah some commenters say what I’m doing could amount to a war crime, but I’ve never done a single thing wrong, anyone who says so is anti-semitic. Of course, I couldn’t post anything while I was there because of that weird ban or whatever but that’s a whole other conversation.

I don’t even need a gun to kill. I can use a knife, my bare hands, hell I can do it with a straw. Plastic, Metal, one of those biodegradable cardboard ones that immediately turns into goop the second it enters a drink. I actually think it would save American taxpayers a lot of money because I would happily drain the life out of someone’s eyes as a form of payment for my time training. I’m not even joking. For the love of god, if I have to spend another month away from home training American police how to kill innocent people just trying to get by then at least let me get a piece of the action.