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Oh Dear God I’m In The Top WHAT Percent of Hootie & the Blowfish Listeners This Year?

It’s that time of year again! With people receiving their Spotify Wrapped for the year, it’s time to reflect on the music we all listened to in 2021. Apparently, the soundtrack to my year was Hootie & the Blowfish! And I listened to them enough to put me in the top… oh. Oh no. Oh sweet God no.

This… this is clearly some sort of algorithmic mistake. The great all-knowing Spotify data-mine mixed up its wires and mistook me, a reasonable woman with eclectic yet relatable musical taste, for some sort of Darius Rucker die-hard. I can’t share this on Instagram. I’d be defaming my own character. God, this, and this only, is why I should just use Bandcamp.

Look, did I listen to some Hootie & the Blowfish this year? Yes. Is “Only Wanna Be With You” one of my go-to karaoke songs, meaning I practice singing it in my car once or twice a week? Absolutely. And guess what? That song blows the roof off the bar every time. Every goddamn time.

And let’s get one thing absolutely crystal fucking clear here — I am not ashamed for liking Hootie & the Blowfish. I saw them live in Buffalo in ’96. Killer show. Packed venue. You’re telling me out of all those Hootie-heads, I’m in the top .01% of listeners? Because I listened to just 12,507 minutes of them this year?

No. I’m not the one who should feel self-conscious. I listen to Hootie & the Blowfish the exact normal amount that everyone should be listening to them. It’s everyone else who should feel ashamed for how little they listen to one of this country’s most underappreciated rock bands.

So go ahead and make your little jokes at the expense of my Spotify Wrapped. Sure, it may not be “cool,” but Hootie is all about being unpretentious. Enjoy showing off how much Swedish math rock you didn’t enjoy listening to. I actually had fun this year.