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Now That We Have More Medium Hoodies Nothing Can Stop Us!

The success of every truly legendary band has always hinged on their one big break. The Beatles playing on Ed Sullivan, Nirvana recording the video for “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, Kanye running for president. These are the moments that define rock and roll.

For my band, Kick The Media Head, that big break arrived Monday afternoon via UPS. Little did the man in brown know he was delivering history when he rang my parent’s doorbell and dropped off a box full of 25 medium hoodies.

The smalls and larges came on Friday, and the XL’s should be here later this week, but everyone knows that mediums are the biggest sellers. Once we book our first show, we’ll probably sell out right away! I can’t wait for our adoring fans to get a look at the kick-ass clip art we picked and the sweet font we used. We even paid extra to get our website printed on the back. That’s gonna drive a ton of traffic to our website if our drummer’s brother ever finishes it.

You really can’t overestimate the importance of people wearing your band’s name. That’s why when our guitarist amp crapped out again, I told her not to bother buying a new one. Instead, we spent that money on a bunch of hoodies, and now we both just plugin through my bass rig. We figured once we sell all the hoodies, not only will we have money for a new amp, we might even have enough left over to replace Kyle’s broken cymbal stands.

Sure it was a shrewd financial move, but it also gave us a big physiological boost at practice. In fact, we were jamming out so hard yesterday that when Beth’s older sister came down to the basement to grab a soda she said we were “starting to sound like an actual band.” Now maybe she was just flirting with me, but I feel like she meant it.

With this kind of energy, I bet we’ll finish writing our third song in no time!