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I Missed Being in a Band, So I Started Dating Five People Who Hate Each Other

I always thought I’d be a musician for life, but life had other plans. One by one, each member of my band, The World Forgetting, was pulled away by work and family. Eventually, even I had to admit that my dreams were changing. Once I finally got a decent career going, my focus turned to settling down and finding love. All the same, I knew I’d always miss being in a band.

That’s why I started dating Amber, Maria, Darius, and either Kelly or Tom depending on availability: when we’re all packed into a room spending way too much time together, it takes me right back to the good old days.

Now I admit, none of us can actually stand each other most of the time. The fact is, we didn’t have all that much chemistry to begin with, and we’ve really had to drill our unconventional romance into shape. It’s been a tedious, frustrating process, but hey, relationships take work.

We went on a romantic getaway after dating for just two months, which, in retrospect, was probably a bit premature. We hit Philly, Pittsburgh, Canton, Columbus, Toledo, and Indy on an eight-day run, and it got pretty tense by the end — Maria wouldn’t stop with the crazy hypotheticals, Amber got way too drunk every night, and Darius kept making us listen to Slate podcasts. The trip took a lot out of me, but it also reminded me of the early days of The World Forgetting and I couldn’t help but smile.

Related: Heartwarming! This Group of 8 Friends Has Dated Each Other Exclusively for the Past 15 Years

My family has been as supportive as they can be, though I’m not sure they really understand. They ask, “Are you still doing that thing where you’re dating all the people? Doesn’t that take up a lot of time? It’s a fine thing to experiment while you’re young, but what are you going to do about the future?”

And what can I say? Dating four or five people is hard, this may not last forever. The truth is that sometimes we all hate each other.

Sometimes, that’s what love is.

Being in a band came with its share of ups and downs, minor victories, and petty setbacks, not unlike the dysfunctional polyamorous pod. In the end, that’s what it’s all about.

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