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I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll Too, but Please Stop Putting Dimes in the Jukebox


Everyone in this bar knows the jukebox costs $1 per song or $3 for 4 songs. This isn’t a charity. I’m trying to run a business here. If you want to listen to a song for 10 cents, you can home and listen to Spotify. Or better yet, why don’t you go spend $6,400 for a state of the art jukebox on eBay and let me know what the return on your investment is like charging just 10 cents a song.

I did you all a solid by replacing all those Top 40 songs with the ones you requested. I even turned a blind eye when you all forgot your IDs, again. But this is where I draw the line. Guess what,? If you keep putting dimes in the jukebox no one is going to be listening to any songs around here anytime soon.                                                                                                                                        There isn’t even a coin slot on the machine. It’s as if you are trying to press my buttons. This machine is only two years old and it’s already been serviced over 14 times. Do you realize how much it’s costing us every month to fish all these dimes out of there? Sure, the dimes are offsetting the repair costs slightly but they’re still just dimes.

You kids weren’t even alive when jukeboxes cost a dime. Hell, I wasn’t even alive then. Jukeboxes didn’t even cost a dime when Joan Jett recorded that song. It’s been at least 50 years since jukeboxes cost a dime.

Get with the times: ONE DOLLAR, ONE SONG!

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Quit making everything so complicated. If you want to play a song on the jukebox all you have to do is download the app, create an account, prove you aren’t a robot using Captcha, link your PayPal account, and select which song you want to hear. It’s simple.

You kids don’t know how easy you’ve got it nowadays. We also accept all major credit cards.

Do you love rock ‘n’ roll? Show it in your new Hard Times shirt!

Article by Danny Taverner @DannyTaverner.