Before I run back upstairs to get the tape measure again I want to be absolutely sure about this. If it is just an intrusive thought then that’s fine. I’ll just let it pass by, a bit bothered, but ultimately okay. But I have to be sure. Because if it does turn out that my taint is more than two standard deviations longer than average, I am just gonna lose it.
I know I’m probably just being dramatic and there’s no way that the stretch of skin between the back of my balls and my butthole is any more or less extended than anyone else’s. But I swear, when I caught a glimpse of my taint in the mirror while getting out of the shower I was sure it looked like a descended batwing.
I don’t want to think about this at all but I can’t stop myself. Now every day I have these intrusive thoughts about how it’s “unsightly and flappy” or it “looks like a pale, fleshy Fruit by the Foot.” Why do I keep having these thoughts? Could it be true?
I tried to ask my therapist about this but that guy refused to inspect the length of my taint entirely. He just kept screaming about how it was his day off and he didn’t know how I got his home address. Well, I’m sorry, but you know what I don’t know? Why my testicle backdrop has more square footage than most commercial recreational vehicles.
If anyone knows how to stop these intrusive thoughts please help, because I don’t know how much longer I can go on with thinking that I might need distance surgery to get my scrote and asshole closer together.