Let’s face it, we wouldn’t be where we are without the help and guidance of our teachers who give us their all every day–minus the summers, of course. And while we’re not willing to advocate they be paid a living wage (did we mention how easy their summers are?), we still want our stellar educators to know they’re appreciated. They’re not just classroom instructors- they’re also regular everyday Americans who can barely afford to eat. So for this year’s National Teacher Appreciation Week, we’re giving a little something back to those who’ve given so much by highlighting a few of the absolute best places to sign up for food stamps.
It’s literally the least we could do.
Call the National Hunger Hotline at 1-866-3-HUNGRY!
For those teachers who are literally on the brink of starvation, the federal government has established a hip, fun hotline they can call and desperately beg for sustenance. It’s even got the word “hungry” right in the number. Fun! Of course, they close at 10PM EST, so make sure you give into your corporeal weakness early in the day.
Even better, Spanish speakers can call 1-877-8-HAMBRE which is just as divertido as the main line, but also gives them a fighting chance to survive the night- even if English isn’t their primary language! But they better not be an illegal immigrant, though, or I swear to GOD.
Apply For SNAP Benefits!
There are certain requirements any educator needs to hit to become eligible for traditional SNAP food stamps but considering their average pay, virtually all teachers qualify! All you have to do is let your state know that you teach for a living and they should be able to hook you up. And according to our uncle, food stamps can be used to purchase anything from 40oz filet mignon to brand-new Honda Civics! You learn something new every day!
If One Of Your Hungry Children Happens To Be An Infant, Apply For WIC!
One of National Teacher Appreciation Week’s best deals are reserved for female teachers fortunate enough to be saddled with a malnourished infant. By applying to the WIC program, these lucky ladies and their tots can begin adding certain healthy foods to their diet. Remember, you need to still be breastfeeding or actively pregnant on top of your full-time job to qualify for discounted radishes for yourself. So consider spending this special week trying to get pregnant so you can have a salad.
Contact the Department of Social Services in Your State!
Not a fan of the federal government? Big supporter of state’s rights? So hungry you’ve seriously considered eating the chunky kid in the back row? Well we’ve got good news! Every state has their own Department of Social Services dedicated to helping our finest educators not die of hunger. Hop on the school library computer and find out what your state’s DSS can do for you.
Buffalo Wild Wings’ Deals Are So Cheap They’re Almost As Good Using Food Stamps!
Okay, so you can’t technically sign up for food stamps or any kind of assistance at B-dubbs, but their National Teacher Appreciation Week deals are out of this world! All teachers, faculty, and staff get 20% off if they dine-in. You may not have any money for an actual meal, but honestly nothing distracts from hunger better than, like, two or three Asian Zing wings. It’s a meal fit for a world-class teacher like you!